Traumatic vs. Intentional Transformation

by Beth Moore | Jan 16, 2019 | Trauma Recovery

Have you ever been through a Traumatic Transformation? Imagine being able to now choose an Intentional Transformation that is rejuvenating and meaningful. In this article, there’s tips on how to cope & heal after traumatic transformation.

In this article:

Read more about how to heal after Traumatic Transformation through Intentional Transformation.

1. How to cope & begin to heal after Traumatic Transformation
2. Different Types of Transformation
3. How to tell the difference between Traumatic and Intentional Transformation
4. Options during Intentional Transformation

Disclaimer: This article has educational resources about restoring wellness through trauma recovery, and is based on my research and my experiences.  This information is not meant to take the place of medical treatment, counseling or therapy.  If it would be helpful to talk to someone, wellness resources has information on how to contact a mental health professional in your area.

Types of Transformation

Whenever someone goes through a sudden, involuntary, and frightening event that they cannot prepare for nor control, it can be a traumatic transformation.  

This traumatic event disconnects the person from their helpful resources, sense of safety, healthy coping skills, and connections of love.
(Tara Brach, 2011)

Traumatic Transformation: 

1. unexpected, unprepared, unstoppable, and involuntary
2. frightening experience
3. disconnects from resources, safety, coping, and love

Involuntary Transformation

Involuntary transformation means a person has no choice if it happens.  They don’t get to prepare, to be ready, to choose to embrace it.

Frightening Transformation

Traumatic transformation can take awhile to get over; not having a choice to transform from something frightening is a game changer.

A few examples of Traumatic Transformation include bullying, abuse, neglect, accidents, and natural disasters.

During a traumatic transformation, the person:

• does not have access to their helpful resources
• do not experience a sense of safety either
• disconnect from resources, safety, coping, and love

Afterwards, it may be difficult to find the right coping skills and love from those who don’t understand what is happening to you.  

Intentional vs. Unintentional Transformation

There’s a big difference between Intentional Transformation & Unintentional Transformation.

In my research, it is interesting to hear the perspective that transformation is only intentional.  Most people talk about transformation like it’s always positive and always a intentional.

I disagree.  

Intentional Transformation

Intentional Transformation can be helpful & healthy, an opportunity to grow and develop, a chance to live a life that is amazing and meaningful!!

Yeah, this is awesome, right??  

Good news, you get to choose!!

Intentional Transformation
can be rejuvenating and meaningful.

Keep reading to learn more about Intentional Transformation and how to Intentionally Transform. 

Before we jump in to understand Intentional Transformation, it’s important to understand that Un-Intentional Transformation happens.

This is where healing begins, by first recognizing the details of Traumatic Transformation.

Un-Intentional Transformation

Traumatic Transformation usually includes the person not getting to choose to transform.

Unintentional Transformation can be harmful, a hurdle of obstacles that are difficult and draining.

What is Unintentional Transformation?

Transformation happens sometimes whether you intend for it to happen or not.  Transformation can be forced, abrupt, random, and involuntary.

Examples: guilt, betrayal, verbal manipulation, bullying, trauma, sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional neglect, spiritual trauma, slavery, brainwashing

Not to be all gloomy, but it really matters whether a person gets to choose to transform or not. When a person is forced to transform, it can be very disheartening, terrifying, and traumatic.

How to cope after Traumatic Transformation

If you have been through a Traumatic Transformation, there are coping skills that can help you cope and heal.

During times of transition and transformation, it is necessary to find healthy coping skills. Here’s a few coping skills that may help you heal.

There are more coping skills that may be helpful as well, look at the bottom of the article for more coping skills.

Find support.

There are people who want to support you and who have been through traumatic transformations.  

If you cannot find a friend or family member, talk to a trusted teacher or pastor.

Sometimes, it may be easier to talk to a counselor and mental health professional who is trained to support you and help you with coping skills.  

Join the Wellness Tribe, I’ll send you encouraging notes and blog posts about self-care, helpful coping skills, and ways to improve wellness.

Give yourself compassion.

During difficult times, we can the hardest on ourselves.  We can expect ourselves to be perfect, but we’re not.

Of all the times, this is the time to give yourself compassion.

I share self-compassion practices in this article: 44 Compassion and Spiritual Self-Care Activities

Prioritize Self-Care

When we are struggling and trying to survive, it’s so important to prioritize our own self-care.

Remember, put the oxygen mask on yourself first, so then you can breathe and help others later.

Here’s 28 Self-Care Ideas that can help you survive and thrive.

Choosing Intentional Transformation over Traumatic Transformation

If you have been through a Traumatic Transformation, you still have a choice to Intentionally Transform when you are ready.

Intentional Transformation is Good

When you choose to Intentionally Transform, it is usually for a good reason. You want to have a second chance, be renewed,

I explain why Transformation is good in my first article in this series: Year of Transformation: Hope, Butterflies and Trauma.

There are 4 reasons transformation can be beautiful and meaningful.

1. You get a new beginning, a new chance to start again fresh.
2. A opportunity for new development (personal, physical, spiritual)
3. Clean out the old stuff and shed old ways
4. Living an Intentional Life full of meaning 

Voluntary vs. Involuntary

There is a huge difference between Intentional Transformation & Traumatic Transformation!! One is voluntary and the other is involuntary. One is intentional and the other is un-intentional.

Intentional: voluntary, done on purpose, deliberate, willful, purposeful, preplanned

Un-Intentional: accidental, abrupt, aimless, forced, purposeless, involuntary, hit-or-miss

Pivotal Moment

This is my pivotal moment in a trauma journey of overcoming health issues.  This time, I have a choice.  I can choose to transform into who I want to be.

I am intentionally choosing to transform versus transformation happening to me unintentionally!!  

This is your time!
This is your choice!  
This is your voice!

You can intentionally choose to transform for the better.

What is Intentional Transformation?

Transformation =transition

First, what is Transformation? Transformation is …

• a thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance
• a time for renewing, revision, reshaping
  • metamorphosis
• a time of transfiguration, conversion, changing.
  • Induced or spontaneous of one element into another by a significant process
• an adaptation, shifting, adjustment, modification
• a time of diversity, innovation, reconstruction, revision
• a transition, development, progress, and regeneration

Intentional =purposeful

Since the word “Intentional” means…

         = done on purpose, deliberate, intended, considered, studied, purposeful, willful

Intentional Transformation

Therefore, Intentional Transformation means…

         = deliberately and willfully renew and reshape a part of your life into a significantly better form

WOOHOO, this is exciting!! Can you hear the winds of change, this is your chance!!

3 Options during Transformation

What will happen when I don’t choose to transform?  Because we all go through seasons where we really don’t want to transform.

Well, there are many options that could happen.

Option #1: Things could stay the same for awhile. 

That would also mean that without change, things stay the same.  That’s good and bad.  

• preserve, stillness, pause, perseverance, sustain

Yes, it’s good to pause, to preserve this moment, to persevere.  

There is a season to be still and sustain.  

For how long is the question.  

Things don’t stay the same for very long.

Option #2: Things could change without me being a part of the process.

Life is naturally changing, so if I try to stay the same, then I stay stagnate while the world changes.

Stagnate, dormancy, inactivity, immobility

That means I don’t choose to improve, or get a second chance.

• lack of progress, delay, lag, setback, regression

Others around me or growing, developing, learning, transforming.

I don’t want to be regressing, stuck in a setback for long, or delayed.

Option #3: Things could change and I get to choose to be part of the process.

There is a season to be still, and a season to change.

I choose option #3, I want to be part of the process of transforming.

• calm, harmony, peace, order

I choose to transform and strive for peace between people, harmony in my life, calmness in my soul, and order in how I do thing.

What do you choose to do?

Choosing to Transform

This changes everything, because you get to choose how you transform this time!  You get to intentionally choose!

In fact, you get to choose:

• every belief surrounding transformation
• each emotion evoked by triggers during transformation
• your response of how you transform each moment

Real Life Application:

What season of life are you in right now?

Do you recognize any of these seasons of transformation?  

• New beginnings 
• Development personally, socially, physically, spiritually
• Uncomfortable shedding old ways
• Shift in thinking, new perspective
• Identifying new values
• Living freely and fully

Live a Meaningful Life with Coping Skills

Coping Skill: Hope

Want to know how ordinary people live transformational lives?  You can overcome significant struggles to make something meaningful with your life, and help so many people! Read the first article in this series: Year of Transformation: Hope, Butterflies and Trauma.

Coping Skill: Mindfulness Self-Care

Self-Care and Mindfulness Ideas for mind-body-spirit to help you lower stress, prevent burnout, and recover from difficulty faster.

Coping Skill: Multisensory Safe Spaces

Life is stressful, so having safe spaces is essential.  Having a back-up plan  of safe spaces is very helpful when you’re in a potentially de-stabilizing situation.   Having safe people and safe spaces can be very helpful, but not always realistic.  So, when external safe spaces are not available, here’s how to create 12 Multisensory Safe Spaces for internal safety & stability.

Join the Wellness Tribe

I’d love to hear about your journey towards wellness!  What helps you gain wellness?

I hope you join us on your journey of improving your wellness.  This tribe is a gathering place to improve wellness & connections, receive life-giving coping skills, and restore health in mind, body, and spirit.

Join the Moore Wellness Tribe

I’d love to hear from you, please leave me a comment, or join me on Facebook, Pinterest, or Instagram.

Blessings,
Beth

Need help finding a counselor?

If you need someone to help to talk to, counselors and mental health professionals can help provide support resources on:

• time management
• stress management
• procrastination
• relaxation skills
• goal setting
• personal development

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