Who doesn’t want more energy? Especially when you’re trying to keep up with children and grandchildren!
Energy Savers & Energy Drainers
There are two types of energy: (1) energy savers and (2) energy drainers. Of course I would like to always have more energy, so I am always looking for good ways to save energy!
But sometimes, when I am oh so tired, I cannot think straight! I tend to have all my energy drained and don’t know where to regain my energy.
Here comes Jill (Nana)!
This is where my friend, Jill (Nana) enters with 5 refreshing ways to regain energy! Jill is a grandmother and blogger who created www.adventuresatnanaland.com 🙂
As a fellow mom and grandmother, I know what it’s like to need to get more energy!! We all need more energy!! Especially if we want to keep up with our little ones (which is one of my biggest motivators to keep moving and stay in shape)!!
Ready for more energy? Read more…
Need more energy right now?
Dealing with the grandchildren all day or even for an hour can sometimes take it out of me. I get tired, especially in the late afternoon, and my energy level is just zip. . .zilch. . .nada. But then I look at the clock and think, “Oh my giddy aunt! How am I going to make it until their mother gets back??” I’m pooped and in desperate need of a nap. Help!! I’ve got to get more energy quick!
Can you relate?
Low energy creates moodiness, stress and a lack of concentration. None of these things are going to help you when dealing with the grandkids. Chances are, if you don’t get more energy quickly, you are going to be grumpy with them or worse. . .raise your voice and make idle threats (“idle” because you KNOW you won’t go through with it.)
It’s about that time when I start thinking about an energy pick-me-up. Just a little something that will breathe some new life into a tired, old body.
Over the years, I’ve developed a short list of Do’s and Don’ts that I follow when I need to get more energy. So, here is my list of what to do and what not to do.
Let’s start with what NOT to do.
DON’T:
1. Don’t Grab for Sugar!
The first thing most of us think to do is to grab for something sweet as a quick pick-me-up. Don’t do it!! This will only make you more tired and cranky later on. You’ll be more impatient and less mentally clear. That’s not going to work well when dealing with those grandkids.
Actually, the sugar might not even help short term. There is a new study that was just published in Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews . These researchers analyzed data from 31 studies and nearly 1,300 people and discovered that sugar does NOT give you more energy or improve your mood. (Although, chocolate really DOES make me happy! 😉Just sayin’.) Their studies showed that ½ hour and also 1 hour after consumption, the sugar actually made things worse.
So, even if chocolate temporarily makes you happy (like it does me), avoid it until after the grandkids are gone home. Then, you can totally reward yourself with chocolate happiness for a job well done!
This “Don’t” includes sugary foods AND drinks. Which brings me to the next one on our list. . .
2. Don’t Chug Down Caffeine!
Another “go to” for most of us is a soda or some other drink with caffeine – Coffee, Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mt Dew. . .pick your poison. You may think this is giving you some energy now, but it will give you bigger regrets later.
What do I mean?
Well, for one, the caffeine raises your blood pressure immediately. According to the Mayo Clinic, the effects are short but dramatic. Let’s face it, none of us need that when dealing with the grandchildren! We need to get more energy NOT have a heart attack!
Besides, if you drink caffeine regularly, this won’t give you the pick-me-up you’re looking for unless you up your game and drink more than usual. On top of all of that, the sugar in a regular drink and the sugar-substitute in a diet drink only plays havoc on your overall health and weight. So, let’s not go there. . .
3. Don’t Sit Down or Lay Down!
Heavens! I know your tired, but don’t do it!
Remember this: Energy breeds ENERGY!
The antidote to being tired and having no energy is to MOVE.
When you sit, you signal your body to relax and make it think that it is time to slow down and take a rest. Nope! Not yet! That’s not the direction you want to go right now. You have to stay awake and alert when your watching the “young uns.”
*A little side note: If you do get the chance to grab a snooze while the kiddos are napping, make it a short power nap. If you try to sleep too long, BAM! You’ll be groggy and slow when you wake up. (Besides, if you accidentally sleep longer than they do, they just may get into the kitchen, spread flour all over the floor and counters, and then try to clean it up with water. Eeeeek! Oh, of course, that’s NEVER happened to me! 😉)
4. Don’t Grab for the Wrong Foods
Carbs, salt and fried foods will get you no where at this stage of the game. Carbs may give you some energy for tomorrow if you’ll be with the kids again, but today, they will just slow you down. Stay away from foods with “empty” calories such as chips, french fries, candy, cookies, and bagged snacks – you know, all the really good-tasting but bad — “waist”ing stuff!
5. Don’t Lose It on the Kids
If you’re anything like me, you LOVE your grandkids, but sometimes they just drive you nuts! Right? Be careful to keep your frustrations intact, because there’s a pretty good chance that you are on a pedestal in your grandkids’ eyes. If you lose your temper or get too angry, you may just crush that image.
Also, keep in mind that it’s probably not alltheir fault that you’re feeling moody, stressed or really tired. Yeah, you can put a little bit of blame on them, but you have to take some responsibility for whatever else is going on to make you feel that way.
Now that we’ve talked about some things not to do, let’s talk about some ways that you can get more energy and/or cut down on some of the stress.
Here’s my quick list of DO’s.
DO:
1. Do Get Moving
Earlier we talked about not sitting down. So the opposite of that would be to get up and get moving. Have a mini dance party with the grandkids. Take the little people out for a walk. Jog up and down a flight of stairs. Or whatever movement you like and will get you going.
The stairs one works well for me as I have a flight of 15 stairs that lead up to my bedroom! Yep, you read that right! It’s a great way for me to wake up a bit. . .and get a little exercise too. 😉 It’s also a great stress reliever to pound up and down those stairs a time or two!
2. Do Try Some Breathing Techniques
Whether you’re tired or stressed, these breathing techniques will literally breathe some new life into the situation. Try one or both of these:
Complete Breath– Get more energy
You can do this sitting or lying down (face up)
Close your eyes and relax
Let out all your breath
Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose. Let your chest and stomach expand filling with air (count to 5)
Hold your breath (count to 15) and then let it out slowly through your nose pushing out ALL the air (count to 10)
Repeat a few times – but be careful, you could get a little light-headed if you do it too many times.
Sounding Breath– Relieve stress
Lie down on your back
Let out all your breath
Breathe in slowly through your nose filling your chest, lungs and abdomen
Contract your throat a little and make a soft hissing sound as you let the air completely out of your lungs – make sure it is long and slow (Not quite sure how to explain this one exactly, but do your own thing. Just make the exhale long and slow. . .and a bit noisy.)
(Don’t get all nervous. . .You don’t need to know anything about yoga to do this!)
This is a quick energy boost for when the afternoon sleepies come to grab you. Yoga can be super fun for the grandkids to do with you too! Most kids love to do yoga. . .not quite sure why, but they do!
Since this sequence is sooooo easy, the kids can just follow along. They will benefit from the stretching and movement as much as you will. Just let them have fun with it!
Did I mention that you don’t need to know anything about yoga to do it?
Here is a quick yoga sequence that you can use to boost your energy quickly and relieve any moodiness that may be setting in. You can get the full explanations for each move and download a little graphic that shows the positions.
4. Do Grab the RIGHT Foods
Unlike some of the foods listed above that you should avoid, there are some good foods that will help get more energy to last throughout the afternoon. Try some fresh fruit, mainly bananas and apples. You can also try some nuts or trail mix, veges, yogurt, herbal teas, or hummus. The best thing to do is to keep a “snack” section in your fridge and pantry. The kids will undoubtedly like a snack too, so make it healthy for them as well.
5. Do Stay Hydrated!
I can’t stress this one enough. You might be surprised at how much energy gets zapped from you when you don’t drink enough. Although there are many opinions about just how much water you have each day, it’s safe to say that you probably aren’t drinking enough.
I’ve heard experts say you should drink anywhere from about ½ gallon to a full gallon a day. I don’t know what the right amount is exactly. I’m just going to tell you to increase what you’re doing now if you are low on energy. If regular water doesn’t do it for you, try infusing your water with some fruit or do a flavored water. . .but avoid the ones with added sugar.
Still Need to Get More Energy When Tending the Grandkids?
Last but not least. . .my last tip comes from the mouth of Captain Obvious:
Get enough sleep!
This isn’t instant energy during the day while you’re tending your grandchildren, but if you know you’re going to be tending, try to get a good night’s sleep the night before. Sleep can cure so many things from bad moods and impatience to some of those nagging health issues.
Getting good sleep is vital to help you get more energy for your day no matter what you’re doing.
Don’t forget that anxiety and stress are energy suckers. Don’t let them ruin the time you have with your precious grandchildren. Relieve those two things with some of the suggestions above, and you will find some instant energy in your day and have plenty to go around for the grandkids too.
Just like your own children, your grandchildren won’t be little for long. Build those relationships by making the most of the time you have together. Don’t let a lack of energy spoil the fun!
Cookies & Milk for Everyone!
Jill is Nana to 14 (soon to be 15) Littles – her grandchildren. She’s been married to her high school sweetheart for over 35 years. Over the years, they have magically melded into one entity known to the Littles as NanaPapa.
Jill has helped and inspired hundreds of grandparents navigate and nurture the relationships between adult children and grandchildren through her blog – Adventures in NanaLand.
Wow, thank you Nana Jill from Adventures in NanaLand. That was great info for all of us who want to gain more energy!!
I cannot wait to try these tips before and during the next week when I get to play with my grandchildren. I can just see me now… reaching for the instant energy drink and thinking wait, not that one!! Then instead reaching for a glass of water, doing yoga poses, and trying the breathing techniques with my grandbabies. Those were some of my favorite ideas that Jill mentioned.
What about you? What energy saver ideas did you like best? Which ones do you think you’ll try?
Ultimate Self Care Mini Course
I actually wrote a guest blog article about Self Care for Grandma’s on Nana Jill’s blog – Adventures in NanaLand.
For all you moms out there, here’s an article for Mom’s Self Care, including tips on time management & getting self care!!
Speaking of ways to take care of yourself, here’s 5 weeks of self care to help you gain more self care!!
We all need time to restore, recharge, and rejuvenate to heal, to grow, and to thrive. We all need more time for more self care, so how do we get it?? Keep reading for great ideas on to help busy moms: how to manage time, take care of yourself, and handle stress.
So how can we find the time to restore your health? Time to recharge and grow? Time to rejuvenate and thrive?
Good time management skills can help you be more effective, more productive and live with more meaning.
Struggle with Managing Time & Self Care
The struggle is real: balancing time and self care if difficult!
Have you felt the struggle?
Can you relate to feeing like there’s not enough hours in the day?
I think I have felt the most overwhelmed when time is limited and I still need to complete a task. When time is running out, and I feel the pressure to finish the task, that’s when I have lost my temper with my kids or been the most impatient with myself.
Feeling hurried, being late, and running out of time causes stress on ourselves and on those around us.
Have you felt overwhelmed when running out of time?
I remember as a young mother when I realized that I lost my patience with my children in the mornings as we scurried around trying to get ready for school. Those mornings I was running behind were the times I felt overwhelmed and knew we were going to be late.
I did not like the way I talked to my kids when I felt hurried, I was not proud of my impatience nor the way I handled the whole ordeal.
My lack of time management and lack of planning caused chaos in scheduling and emotions, as well as hectic relationships.
I would feel so overwhelmed when I felt hurried. It can be difficult to focus on what’s really important, especially when if may feel like there’s never enough time.
It’s hard to manage time when you’re really tired.
The other aspect that makes it hard to manage time is when I’m really tired. Fatigue causes my brain to be foggy, my emotions to be extra sensitive, and my body to be sluggish. Many of us struggle with feeing tired and balancing work and rest.
What to do when everything around you is in chaos.
When your responsibilities seem out of control and chaotic, or your dreams seem unattainable, it could be that time management skills could be helpful.
Setting boundaries with time management can bring order to your goals and help prioritize your to-do list.
How do you protect your time? Time management skills can help you protect your time for what’s most important in your life.
Time Management Skills Improve Life Management
Managing your time can help you:
Find more free time
Reach your goals
Improve relationships
Increase productivityat work and home
Greater satisfactionin life
Gain more energy
More time for self care and hobbies!
Want more time?
Manage time = Manage self
Time management skills can improve your time for self care, responsibilities, and live your life to the fullest!!
Want more self care?
Managing your time can help you find the time for self care in your daily routine, says Suzanne Brown of Mompowerment.com. Brown shares time management tips for moms, parents, and any hard-working adults that can help you find more time in your day for self care.
Time Management Tips
Time Batching is grouping similar items and focusing on one group at a time. Suzanne uses the Pomodor method of working 25 minutes and taking a 5-minute break. Those breaks can refresh your mind to work harder and faster. For more details on how to block time, read the blog post: Create More Time.
Work during Peak efficiency times. Choose to do your best work at your peak time, when you are most efficient. Are you a morning person, if so, choose the morning time to work. Are you a night person, then maybe working later in the afternoon or evening might be your best time. Try a few different times and take note when you work more efficiently.
Slow cooking can save you time and cleaning, it’s putting a whole meal in one pot and it magically cooks it in a few hours. So by supper time, your meal is all ready. Look at my Pinterest Recipes board for more slow cooking ideas to help you balance work and wellness.
Special Toys to keep your little ones busy so you can get things done. This is one of the best tips when you have little children around you who want your time usually when you need to take a phone call or cook supper for your hungry family.
Create Special Toy Time:
Create a special box of toys, and only bring this special box down when you really need uninterrupted time to focus on 1-2 specific tasks. I used to have a special box at the top of a closet that I would pull out about the time I needed to make supper and return phone calls.
It doesn’t work if you pull down the special box more than once a day, then it’s not really special, it’s just a part of their everyday toys. Save this special box for a special time for your children and yourself.
This way, this special toy box is reserved for special play time. You will get time for specific uninterrupted tasks and your children will get their special play time.
Consider this as self care for your children, they will love it when you bring out these special toys for your children.
Special Toys Ideas:
Play dough, plastic table cloth, tools to use with play dough: plastic knifes (not sharp), rollers, cups, child-safe cookie cutters
Miniature house, cars, and people for children can play for long time creating their own stories.
Toy animals your children likes to play with: plastic dinosaurs, cats, dogs, fish, snakes, farm animals, wild zoo animals
Sensory bin: foam shapes, shoe box of fuzzy balls and measuring cups, bendable pipe cleaners, plastic container with beans and tools to play with (spoons, measuring cups, funnels, plastic animals).
Redefine The New Self Care
Harvard Business Review writer, Amy Jen Su, encourages leaders to redefine self care as more than just physical health. Amy describes viewing time from different perspectives as also being helpful in increasing self care.
How do you define self care?
Broaden your definition of self care while you consider what is important to you, what you’re attuned to, and what you need to be your most effective and authentic self.
Consider what is important to you for self care?
What do you need to be your most effective and authentic self?
What brings you joy?
How do you nourish yourself or how could you nourish yourself?
In what ways could you invest in yourself?
Basic Self Care
Pay attention to your mind, emotions, relationships, environment, resources, and time. Mindfully pay attention to your body and see what it needs.
Our bodies need the basics to survive,
and self care to thrive.
Beth @ MooreWellness.Life
Are you getting the basics: a good night’s sleep, nourishing foods, plenty of water, shelter to rest, clothes to keep comfortable?
If your body is missing basic needs and physically deplenished, this will effect everything you do. You may feel sluggish and tired without enough sleep, brain fog and sick without healthy nourishing foods, and dehydrated and headaches without enough water.
If you are missing basic needs, then it’s important to start with the basics first.
Basic self care is the only way you’ll have energy to strive towards bigger self care goals.
Once you have the basics down for self care, mindfully pay attention to your mind, emotions, and spirit. Do you have close friendships, mental challenges, spiritual calmness?
What does your mind, emotions, and spirit need?
How could your environment and resources support self care?
Self Care = Self Compassion
Being compassionate to yourself can help you bounce back through tough times faster.
Self care is another way to say self love.
The more you love yourself, the more you will love others! The more you practice loving yourself, the more you will want to love others.
How can you be compassionate to yourself? Today?
In what ways can you show yourself love?
What would help you bounce back faster through tough times?
Self care includes honoring the value, impact, and contribution you bring.
You are valuable!
How do you honor yourself?
What type of self care would honor yourself?
Take time for yourself just as you take time for your children.
Teaching your children how to manage time will also teach them how to manage themselves. Your children will learn to take care of themselves, just as you show them how you take care of yourself. The more your children practice self care, the better they will bounce back from adversity and love others, because they know how to love themselves.
Improve Mental Health with More Time
If you enjoyed this article, great!! There are 3 more articles related that may help you improve your mental health even more… creating more time through boundaries (article #2), creating S.M.A.R.T. Goals (article #3), and finding peak time and space (article #4). See below for the links.
Disclaimer: This article has resources about restoring wellness, and is based on my research and my experiences. This information is not meant to take the place of counseling or therapy. If at any time you feel uncomfortable or need to talk to someone, wellness resources may be helpful.
Hi Ya’ll, I’m Beth Moore and I love Fairy Gardens because as a Sandtray Therapist, creating a world with miniatures can be a fun and easy way to express yourself & boost mental health! So why not create Fairy Gardens with your family for Mother’s Day? My mom and I both love Fairy Gardens so this is a win-win for both of us! Our kids and grandkids all love it, both boys and girls! Just give it a try. Create gifts & memories as a family!
In this Article:
Boost Mental & Relational Wellness
Fairy Garden Ideas
How to Make Fairy Gardens (with YouTube video)
Fairy Garden Ideas
Fairy Garden DIY Party
Miniature Fairy Gardens
Boost Mental & Relational Wellness
Building family memories and expressing yourself creatively can help boost your mental and relational wellness! Thanks to Suzi @ StartaMomBlog.com for teaching me the tools to create a blog to share my creativity and passion boosting wellness!
Relational wellness includes building and maintaining relationships with family and friends. Every moment you choose to be present with your family and friends, and invest in time creating special memories, you are choosing the value and importance of relationships & friendships.
Good close relationships help people live longer, live happier, and live with more purpose. Invest in your relationships, create together!
Fairy Garden Ideas
So the idea came around through my cousin who created the cutest fairy garden. She sent us the cutest picture and we all oohed and ahh-ed.
Then her mom (who is my aunt) made an outside fairy garden, with a beautiful water garden. Don’t you just love the water features?
Wait, it didn’t stop there! Another aunt got excited about making a fairy garden and made one celebrating Easter for her church! How creative!
That’s when my mom and I got so excited about our idea… why not have a Fairy Garden Party!
How to Make Fairy Gardens
Okay, now to the fun part… making your own fairy garden!! The good news is you can make a Fairy Gardens that are affordable & easy, as well as amazing and unique!
That’s what this article is about: Fun & DIY Fairy Gardens for families! The ideas as limitless, woohoo!
How to Make Fairy Gardens with the Entire Family
There are so many fun ways to make fairy gardens with the entire family for holidays, 4th of July, birthdays, and any family gathering!
All ages can create fairy gardens, let the fun begin!!
YouTube Fairy & Mini Garden by Garden Answer
Wow, thanks to my aunt for sharing this video with me from Garden Answer, who makes amazing YouTube videos about how to garden.
The video shown here is the cutest Fairy & Mini Garden by Garden Answer. Check out that amazing water feature, now that’s one I’d like to add to my fairy garden!!
Green Thumbs & Fairy Gardens
Those with green thumbs can choose beautiful plants with such variety! I’ll show you some more pictures soon.
The options seem limitless for fairy gardens when you have a green thumb. It’s amazing what people can create!
It’s totally okay if you are a non-gardener and still like the idea of creating a fairy garden. I have good news, there’s plenty of ideas about gardens created with alternatives, so you don’t have to use plants
Consider how many people will be creating fairy gardens, just you or your whole family or a few friends? This will determine how many supplies you’ll need to gather and buy, or ask everyone to bring certain items.
What type of miniatures?
Choose miniatures based on your age group (breakable/older, plastic/younger) & the type of gathering space (small, large, indoors, outdoors). Have fun 🙂
DIY Fairy Gardens
Creatives (people who love to create) can have a fantastic time at creating their on Do-It-Yourself fairy gardens & accessories!
There are so many DIY fairy gardens, the ideas are really limitless.
Want more ideas? Browse through 200+ pins about Fairy Gardens on my Pinterest Board:
Keep reading for the HOW TO STEPS & DIY FAIRY GARDENS …
Shopping for Miniatures & Fairy Gardens
Miniatures and Fairy Garden supplies/accessories can be bought almost anywhere! Here’s a few places I love to shop for miniatures and fairy garden supplies:
Amazon (fast shipping and so many items to choose)
Dollar General
Dollar Tree
Hobby Lobby
Michael’s
Big Lots
Some of the best customer reviews on Amazon were given to these top 4 miniatures for fairy gardens:
Joykick Fairy Garden House Kit – with Opening Doors
This is one of the cutest houses & fairy kits. It has over 200 reviews with 5 starts, unbelievable!!
Your whole family can make fairy gardens together! Seriously!!
How to make a Fairy Garden in 4 easy steps:
Choose indoor, outdoor, miniature, gardening or non-gardening. There is no wrong choice, you can decide whatever fits your wishes.
Gather fairy garden supplies & accessories. You can get supplies from many stores, around your house, and even in your yard.
Get your soil and plants. You can keep it simple or go a little (or a lot) crazy on the plants and flower selection(s).
Create your fairy garden & have fun 🙂
Gather supplies & put them in all in cute containers, like my mom did here in planter trays; creative & functional.
Fairy Houses & Huts
Animals, Birds, Snails, Dogs, Horses
Fairies, Gnomes, Angels
Unicorns, Pegasus
Pebbles, Stones, Gemstones, Sticks
Signs, Decor, Furniture, Swings, Chairs
Trees, Water, Creeks, Ponds, Mountains
Ok, so now you get an idea of all the different kinds of fairy gardens you can make.
Let kids & all ages have fun!
This is the perfect opportunity to create fun lasting memories with all ages in your family, from little kids 2 years old to aging adults, all ages can enjoy creating fairy gardens.
Even my two-year old grandson had a blast creating his own fairy garden out of wild animal miniatures. Look how cute his fairy garden turned out.
You can create a fairy garden out of so many materials for any age. Young children can play for a long time with dirt and miniatures, let them have fun. They are building life-long memories with their family, how beautiful is that!
Variety of gardens to create Small Worlds:
Dinosaur World
Mystery Island
I Spy My World
Miniature Memories
My Family
My Favorite
Here are more pictures of fairy gardens our family created from 2 years old to aging adulthood, we all loved it!!
What’s Your Favorite Fairy Garden?
Have you created a fair garden? I’d love to see it, send me a picture on my FaceBook page.
Do you have another favorite fairy garden? Is it one you saw on this blog?
Did you make a fairy garden? Post below and share it with us, we’d love to see it! Share your Fairy Garden with me:
I’d love to hear about your journey towards wellness! What’s your biggest struggle?
I hope you join us on your journey of improving your wellness. This tribe is a gathering place to improve wellness & connections, receive life-giving coping skills, and restore health in mind, body, and spirit.
Hi Ya’ll, I’m Beth Moore and I love Sandtray Therapy!! It all started for me when I did my first sandtray in graduate school for counseling. Viola, I had immediate insight into my reality by looking at my little miniatures in my world. My heart was changed and I knew this is what I wanted to specialize in as a counselor. Read more about 9 ways to develop self care….
In this Article:
My First Sandtray
9 Ways to Develop Self Care
Sandtray Summit 2019 in Atlanta, GA
AST (Association for Sandtray Therapy)
RIST (Registered Integrative Sandtray Therapist)
My First Sandtray
So, let me take you back to what it felt like to do my first sandtray.
I’m sitting there thinking well this will be fun, we all got to choose miniatures that represent our family members. How cute are these little miniatures in my hand.
Then it’s my turn to go first, so no problem. I explain each of the miniatures as I place them on the floor in front of me, forming them in a nice & cute little circle. Ah, my family close in a circle, how lovely…
Where are you?
Until my peer and friend looks at me sweetly and calmly and asks…
“Where are you?”
I look at her perplexed… what do mean where am I?? I am, of course, right there….
Where am I?
I glance down at the floor in front of me.
Tears form so fast in my eyes and fall down on my knees.
I cannot deny it.
I am not there.
How did this happen?
I forgot about me.
I’m not even in the circle with my family.
There is no miniature to represent me, because I forgot about myself.
There was no denying it because it was true.
I had forgotten myself.
Has that ever happened to you?
Have you ever forgot about yourself?
Sometimes, you may work so hard for everybody else in your life, that you’re exhausted?
You take care of your children, your spouse/partner, your parents, your family, your friends.
But what about you?
What happens to all the people around you, if you are not even there?
I mean really, if you’re not able to be there at all, say you’re gone.
How could you help them then?
You can’t.
So, how important is self care?
Self care is more important than caregiving.
That may sound contradictory.
How could self care be more important than caring for others? I mean, think of a mom’s self care being more important than her children. Sounds backwards?
9 Ways to Develop Self Care
How do you develop self care?
Self care is really self-authoring, being real, being attuned to your self, finding your whole self again.
Beth Moore, PLPC 2019 www.moorewellness.life
In my experiences, there are 9 ways to develop self care as a priority in my life.
Why not try it? Read about 9 ways to develop self care.
#1: Self Care is Self-Authoring
Self care is really self-authoring, where you tell your story about your life from your perspective. You get to write your story. You get to decide how your story unfolds, what’s written in the next chapter.
The more you care for yourself,
the more you can write your own story.
#2: Self care is being real.
How can you take real care of yourself if you’re not being real?
If you are being fake, you cannot truly take care of your basic needs and desires.
Self care requires being real about what you really need, what you really want, and what you really desire.
Self care is being real about your:
needs
wants
desires
#3: Self care if being attuned to your self.
If you are trying to please others, how will you truly take care of yourself and even know what you need?
You have to be attuned to your self,
to take care of all your needs.
Especially your basic needs, the longer you ignore those body signals, the more physically sick you’ll become.
#4: Self care is finding your whole self again.
This way can take awhile, especially if you are a trauma survivor.
Trauma survivors work so hard at surviving, that they have to forget about their body’s signals to slow down and rest.
Self care is taking the time
to listen to your body, mind, and spirit
to see what each part of you needs.
#5: Self care is being present.
The first step of self care is identifying where you are, so you can find yourself again.
Sometimes, I’m going so fast I can barely slow down, and it feels like I’m going ninety different directions.
So, just taking the time to realize where you are can be helpful.
Am I present in the here and now?
Once I realized I was missing from my priority, I could put myself back into the circle again.
#6: Self care is choosing you.
The second step of self care is choosing you.
Oh, the relief when I can finally go get my own miniature and include my miniature of myself into the family circle, oh how good it feels.
#7: Prioritize self care and loving self.
Consider how to prioritize your self care. How important is self care?
It may be really important, but just hard to make time to actually do it.
What happens if you forget self care?
Forgetting Self Care
The difference between seeing myself forgotten and remembered will stay with me for a lifetime.
I”ll never forget how it felt to put myself back into my family circle, literally and symbolically.
You see, I had felt so guilty prioritizing myself as I went to graduate school, that I felt guilty not spending as much time with my family.
So, I couldn’t see how I would prioritize my self and my self care!!
#8: Model Self Care for Your Children
Then I realized, I was modeling self care for my children.
My children would follow my example and take care of themselves the same way I took care of myself.
So, really choosing self care is better for your children.
Now, I’m not saying to neglect your children, there’s a balance of taking care of yourself and taking care of your children. The key is finding the balance to continue your self care while taking care of your children.
Choice of Neglect or Self Care
So, I had a choice:
Continue on the path to neglecting myself, and teach my children to neglect themselves
Change my path and prioritize my self care and remember my self, teaching my children to take care of themselves and remember their care as a priority.
Choosing Self Care
I continually choose to dive into self care every day, creating a habit, creating a lifestyle of self care.
I see my children taking care of themselves better, too.
Choose self care & feel guilt-free, you’re choosing to care for yourself so you can take better care of your children.
My level of self care reflects how well I’m doing, and vice versa.
#9: Choose self care daily.
The journey of prioritizing self care is a continuous journey every day.
This is a continuous journey for me, prioritizing self care and choosing it daily. I had to choose every day during graduate school, and every day since then.
I have a few close friends that will gently ask me how my self care is doing. Especially the more stressed I am, or the busier my life is getting.
The busier I get, the more self care I need.
The more I choose self care each day:
I can handle problems better
The calmer I am inside
I find joy easier throughout the day
How many ways do you develop self care?
How do you continuously choose self care this week?
Am I remembering to take care of myself today?
How can I take care of myself in this moment?
You can only drink from a full cup.
I LOVE this quote!!
Seriously, I’ve tried to drink from an empty cup, and there just isn’t anything there.
So, it’s vital to take time and priority to fill your cup up, regain your energy, restore with life-giving sources.
Sandtray Summit 2019 in Atlanta
So, this is where it all comes full circle (again in my life).
I’m sitting at the Sandtray Summit in Atlanta, Georgia (U.S.A.). And the theme on one of the cards on my table reads, “You can only drink from a full cup.”
Oh, do I know this lesson, so true and I so needed to hear this during the busy seasons of life.
So, I take my miniature cup and water and put it in my sandtray, representing putting priority on my self care, my needs, my dreams.
I am choosing myself,
I am taking care of me,
I am following my dreams.
AST (Association for Sandtray Therapy)
Part of my dream is practicing as a counselor using Sandtray Therapy. It’s so life-gving and transforming for me.
My dream includes getting to now serve on the Association for Sandtray Therapy (AST) that was recently formed in April 2019!!
People have asked me if they can join AST, and the answer is …
Right now, mental health professionals can join AST.
Soon, others who love sandtray as a sensory tool, coping tool, and reflection tool will also be able to join AST. Some of these people may be teachers, parents with children who have autism, spiritual directors, pastors, college professors, preschool teachers, youth directors, program directors at assisted living facilities, and more.
Here’s the link for more information, and remember, the association for formed April 2019, it’s being formed by its members!!
www.a4st.org
I am honored to be on the AST (Association for Sandtray Therapy) Board of Officers and I’m so excited to grow alongside my fellow Sandtray Therapists.
RIST (Registered Integrative Sandtray Therapist)
This season of life is amazing for me. There are so many circles being formed and completed and connecting.
I’m diving in as a RIST (Registered Integrative Sandtray Therapist) and finishing up my provisional license hours for LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor).
I love using Sandtray Therapy and Play Therapy with clients in Louisiana, teaching about integrative therapies, and finding new ways to heal our whole mind-body-spirit.
I use Sandtray Therapy to help me and my clients visually see how much self care is happening, or maybe the lack of self care that’s missing in life.
How do you choose self care?
In what ways do you choose yourself?
Maybe your self care looks different than mine, that’s totally okay.
Self care looks different for each person, as unique and as personalized as you are your own person.
May your self care journey be enriching, enlightening, and enjoyable.
Beth Moore, PLPC 2019 www.moorewellness.life
SUMMARY OF THIS ARTICLE:
First Sandtray
9 Ways to Develop Self Care
Sandtray Summit 2019 in Atlanta, GA
AST (Association for Sandtray Therapy)
RIST (Registered Integrative Sandtray Therapist)
How do you FIND HOPE?
I’d love to hear what BRINGS you HOPE?
Share it with me!
Let’s keep sharing HOPE 🙂
Stay Connected
I’d love to stay connected with you, here’s a few ways to connect with me and my Wellness community:
I hope this info is helpful for you on your life journey.
If so, please share it with a friend and let us know how it has been the most helpful.
Join the Wellness Tribe
I’d love to hear about your journey towards wellness! What helps you gain wellness?
I hope you join us on your journey of improving your wellness. This tribe is a gathering place to improve wellness & connections, receive life-giving coping skills, and restore health in mind, body, and spirit.
Ya’ll, I found Ultimate Hope at the ACA Conference in New Orleans, Louisiana, such a blessing at the perfect time! Have you ever needed hope during difficult days in your life? Download the Ultimate Hope List just in time!! The week after I posted it online, I really needed Hope. Can you relate? Where do you find hope?
SUMMARY OF THIS ARTICLE:
ACA Conference in N.O.
3 Steps to Hope
Ultimate Hope List
Stay Connected
ACA 2019 Conference
I can’t believe how awesome this year’s ACA 2019 Conference was in New Orleans!!
For 3 days, I was attending the ACA 2019 Conference in N.O. It’s the ultimate counseling conference with leaders in our field and counselors from around the world. (ACA = American Counseling Association)
Thanks to my professor and friend, Dr. Hermann-Turner for inviting me to be a part of the AADA booth @ ACA!!
So, there I was in New Orleans, seeking hope in my personal and professional life! Interesting how things have a way of coming together in the oddest places.
I found HOPE in New Orleans!
Haha, that sounds funny doesn’t it? How could I find hope in New Orleans in the last 3 days?
Especially when just 3 days ago, I had just posted a blog article about HOPE!
I get inspired by others who have walked in my footsteps, struggled, and overcame!
My Inspiration
I’d love to share where I find my hope so it can maybe help you find hope when you need it most!
Lately, I’ve been working on reaching out to others who SHINE HOPE in what they do and who they are! At the conference, in my personal life, and in my professional life, I need life-giving people and beautiful-positive energy pouring into me as I pour into them.
ACA Authors
Today I heard from bucket-list authors who have written some of my Counseling books and textbooks!! Feeling proud and honored to sit in awe and learn from great leaders in my field!!
This workshop was amazing & has been at ACA for the past 15 years!! I hope it’s there every year, because I’d love to hear these authors every year!!
This panel of Authors were sharing their honest tips & advice for those of us with a dream to write books!!
Is There a Book Within You to be Written?
Gerald Corey Kellie Kirksey Patrice Moulton Michelle Muratori Mark Stebnicki George Williams Robert Wubbolding Mark E. Young
So, at the conference, I grabbed my courage and went up to a few well-known authors in the counseling field and asked for tips and mentoring. They were so nice and so willing to help me, wow, I felt honored and blessed to be a part of such sharing of HOPE!
My HOPE for YOU
I hope your journey towards wellness can be created with small steps towards inspiring goals, meaningful relationships, and life-giving transformation.
3 Steps to Hope
Seek Support of faith-filled friends and Pray to a Higher Power (personal life)
Find Mentors in your field and meet new Friends who seek similar goals (professional life)
Reach out to people you look up to, ask for a small step of help (both personal & professional life)
I hope this info is helpful for you on your life journey.
If so, please share it with a friend and let us know how it has been the most helpful.
Join the Wellness Tribe
I’d love to hear about your journey towards wellness! What helps you gain wellness?
I hope you join us on your journey of improving your wellness. This tribe is a gathering place to improve wellness & connections, receive life-giving coping skills, and restore health in mind, body, and spirit.
Check out goodreads.com for more great quotes like the included in this article.
Hope Quotes: Hope Flies & Swims
“Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul And sings the tune without the words And never stops at all.” ― Emily Dickinson
“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.” ― William Faulkner
“Hold fast to dreams, For if dreams die Life is a broken-winged bird, That cannot fly.” ― Langston Hughes
“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.” ― C. JoyBell C.
Hope Quotes: Hope, Faith, and Love
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” — 1 Corinthians 13:13, Holy Bible NIV
“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” ― Paulo Coelho,The Alchemist
“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.” ― Tom Bodett
Hope Quotes: Hope through the Darkness
“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.” ― Robert Fulghum,All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts On Common Things
“But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.” ― Martin Luther King, Jr.
“The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy.” ― Kalu Ndukwe Kalu
“Hope Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, Whispering ‘it will be happier’…” ― Alfred Lord Tennyson
“The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.” ― Barbara Kingsolver,Animal Dreams
We all need hope during dark times, difficult relationships, and daily struggles. Sometimes it can be helpful to have a few tools in your back pocket during those hard times. Save these page for later when you really need some tips to find hope! Here is 27 ways to find HOPE during difficult times.
In this article:
Hopeless, Struggles and Helplines
Why is Hope Important?
Where do we find hope?
What is HOPE?
Spring is coming!
Important: This article has resources about restoring wellness, and is based on my research and my experiences. This information is not meant to take the place of counseling or therapy. If at any time you feel uncomfortable or need to talk to someone, wellness resources can help you find a counselor and resources that may be helpful.
ULTIMATE HOPE LIST
I created 2 FREE Printables and put them together in this ULTIMATE HOPE LIST!
and have motivation to live fully towards your dreams!
I hope you enjoy these HOPE-filled ACTIVITIES & TIPS as mush as I do!!
GET 2 Printables in 1 FREE Download
You get 2 PRINTABLES in 1 FREE Download in the ULTIMATE HOPE LIST!!
17 Ways to FIND HOPE
+ 10 HOPE Activities
Hopeless, Struggles and Help
Without hope, there is darkness of a tragic loss. You feel hopeless and maybe even powerless. It’s like death is overshadowing all things living for awhile.
This feeling can come and go, as you’re able to find your way through the hopelessness cavern toward light again.
When struggling to find hope, you may feel:
Sad, gloomy, and/or depressed
Limited choices and declining support
Out of control and powerless
Hopelessness feels like powerlessness, and can be overwhelming and out of control.
Do you feel hopeless?
Keep reading to find hope, seek hope, and gain hope.
Hopeless Situations
During times of hopelessness, you may feel desperate for relief, for solutions, for hope.
Hopeless situations may be:
grieving the death of a person you knew
despairing, or despondent
discouraging
Help for the Hopeless
There are people who want to help you, to be there for you during these difficult times, and to help you find a solution.
Counselors: provide support & guidance, empowering and equipping with coping skills to survive and thrive. Find a therapist @ www.psychologytoday.com/us
Spiritual Directors: walk alongside you on your spiritual journey, helping you tell your sacred story. Find a Spiritual Director @ www.sdiworld.org
Disaster Distress Helpline: The Disaster Distress Helpline, 1-800-985-5990, is a 24/7, 365-day-a–year, national hotline dedicated to providing immediate crisis counseling for people who are experiencing emotional distress related to any natural or human-caused disaster. This toll-free, multilingual, and confidential crisis support service is available to all residents in the United States and its territories. Stress, anxiety, and other depression-like symptoms are common reactions after a disaster. Call 1-800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.
Why is HOPE Important?
There’s good news, keep reading for 17 ways to find hope + 10 hope activities!! Here we go!!
It’s amazing when you have hope, it can seem as though a miracle has happened. The light streams in against the darkness and you see the possibilities for good again.
Hope Tip #1: Hope changes your perspective and allows for healing and wholeness for yourself and for others.
With hope, you find happiness and meaning to…
Get help to change for the better
Stop harmful patterns of behavior
Be motivated to grow and to love
Hope Tip #2:
Hope gives you the motivation to change, grow, and live fully.
Beth @ MooreWellness.Life
I need hope to get inspired, be creative, and to have motivation to live fully towards my dream.
When I want to get excited about a new beginning or new journey, I pull up my hope and let it flow freely! The key for me is knowing where to find hope!
Where do you find hope when you need it?
Where Do We Find HOPE?
Great question! Because Hope is not something we can easily see or feel sometimes. Therefore, where do we find hope and how can we get it?
Hope Tip #3: Find Hope in hopeful people, places, and things.
That may sound too simple and too easy. Well, why not try it?
Give hope a try!
What is hope?
Hope Tip #4:
Hope helps us move forward.
Beth @ MooreWellness.Life
3 Secrets About Hope
Here are 3 secrets about hope. First, finding hope helps you move forward. Second, if you have a little hope, it is easier then to gain more hope. Third, creating hope is possible.
Hope is…
Sharon Blake is a survivor of homelessness, addiction, prostitution, and domestic violence. She defines hope as a “Hope is an optimistic attitude of mind based on an expectation or desire.”
Let’s break this definition down into actionable items:
Hope is an Optimistic Attitude
Hope Tip #5: If you decide you want to be hopeful, you are more likely to find hope.
Attitudes matter. Your attitude is your way of thinking or feeling about something or someone, and many times your attitude is expressed in your behavior. So, how can you express hope in your behavior?
Look for hope
Hope Activity: Look Around You
Look around the space you are in right now, find as many red things as possible in 20 seconds. How many did you find?
Ok, without peeking, which means no more looking. How many green things did you see? You may not know exactly how many green things were in the space around you, because you were not looking for green things.
Hope Tip #6:
The more you look for something, the more you will find it.
Hope Tip #7: Find Optimism & Grow in Optimism. Optimism builds hope.
Hope Activity: Find Optimistic People & Groups
Find optimistic people & groups, hang out with them, laugh with them, absorb the positivity. The more others laugh, the more you will laugh. Smiling and laughing are contagious. Think of 1 group of optimistic people, where do they hang out? Make it a goal to go hang out with them once in the next week or few weeks.
Find Hope in Supportive Friends
Hope Tip #8: Positive people are fun to be around, they help us feel happy and think positively.
Hope Activity: Choose 3 Optimistic People
Write down 3 optimistic people you would like to hang around with sometime in the near future. Writing it down will actually help you get closer to your goal.
Hope Tip #9: Just by noticing other’s positivity, you are already practicing being more positive.
Hope Activity: Notice positive talk by positive people.
While hanging out with positive people, notice how many positive things one positive person will talk about. This can help you practice being more positive as well.
Hope in God, Hope in a Higher Power
Psychology Today mentions turning to your faith in God to find hope. Your faith can be a stepping stone to finding your hope.
What is the difference between hope and faith?
Faith can be believing in God, trusting and having confidence in God, someone, or something. So, having faith means believing and trusting that you will have hope.
Hope Tip #10:
Faith is believing in the present time, hope is believing in the future.
Beth @ MooreWellness.Life
Hope Activity: Choose 3 things you have faith and/or hope in
What do you have faith in right now? What do you have hope in for the future? Write down 3 things you have faith and/or hope in currently.
Hopeful & Positive Mind
Training our brain to think positively may take practice.
It is natural in our hurried world to notice the negative, to react more to the negative, and to focus on the negative. Maybe we do it to survive, maybe we do it to fit in, maybe we do it out of habit.
Hope Tip #11: It takes practice to train our brains to think positively. Hope grows off of positivity.
Here’s a few ways to train your brain to think positively.
Positive Mindset
Positive (optimistic) thoughts lead to more positive actions which lead to more positive outcomes. Negative thoughts lead to more negative outcomes.
Hope Activity: 10-Minute Positive Mindset
For 10 minutes, make a choice to intentionally think about positive things and notice how it helps you positive mindset.
Hope Tip #12:
Positive thoughts lead to positive actions, which leads to positive outcomes.
Beth @ MooreWellness.Life
Attitude of Gratitude
Hope Tip #13:
The more grateful we are, the more opportunities we find. Hope is built on gratitude and opportunities.
One of those places to find hope is practicing being grateful. When you look around at how many blessings you have each day, it can bring great hope your way daily.
Hope Activity: Gratitude Attitude Journal
Every day for 1 week, write down one thing you are grateful for every day. Start with something super easy to be grateful for, then see if you can add one thing a day. Make it super easy so you can succeed.
If this exercise is too easy, then challenge yourself to up the level, try 5 things a day or 10 things a day and go up from there. At the end of the week, reflect on how easy or hard it was to think of things to be grateful for.
Did practicing gratitude help you find more things to be thankful about? Do you feel more hopeful?
Hope Tip #14:
Attitude of Gratitude brings Hope!
Beth @ MooreWellness.Life
Hopeful Expectations
Hope from past experiences
Expectations are a strong belief that something will happen in the future.
Hope Tip #15:
Hope is believing in the future, Expectations are a strong belief that something will happen in the future.
Beth @ MooreWellness.Life
We usually form our expectations from our pervious experiences and knowledge. Say you fell out of a tree when you were climbing it. You might be more cautious next time you want to climb a tree. Your expectations of climbing a tree might now include having some extra safety measures in place before you climb that big tree.
Hope Activity: Hopeful Past Experiences
Think about past experiences where you have been hopeful. Write down a summary of this hopeful experience. How did that hope get you through hard times? How did hope change your perspective and help you move forward?
Remember hopeful experiences
This also applies to the positive expectations, as we can choose to practice remembering hopeful experiences.
Hope Tip #16:
Remember hopeful experiences to have more hopeful experiences.
Beth @ MooreWellness.Life
Hope Activity: Mindfulness Positive Experience
When something goes well or great this week, intentionally practice remembering the positive experience.
Concentrate on a few key details during this positive experience:
Consider your feelings
Notice your relationship to the people & places around you
Focus on the meaning of the positive experience in your life
One Key to Hope
All these things have one thing in common. They all draw from hope within and around us.
Hope Tip #17: So to find hope, it helps to draw positivity from positive people, places, and things.
Hope Activity: Ultimate List of Hope
Make a list of all the ways you find hope. Include all the people, places, and things where you draw your hope & positivity from. Keep this list near your bed or desk. When you are feeling down or need a reminder of how to find hope, you can look at this list that you created! Great job!
What do you hope for?
Every year, I look forward to spring and the new flowers, the butterflies, and the baby animals! Spring resembles new hope for what is to come, new birth of ideas, and new life. It’s one of my favorite times of year!!
What do you hope for right now?
What is your favorite Hope Tip or Activity?
I’d love to hear what your favorite Hope Tip or Activity is and how it helps you. Leave a comment at the bottom of this article, or leave a message for me in one of these Moore Wellness communities.
Identifying trauma triggers, flashbacks, and dissociation can help reduce the events and help build better coping skills. Read more about tips on identifying, reducing, and coping with triggers, flashbacks, and dissociation.
Metaphor Image: Road Trip & Triggers
Well, consider a visual image of going on a road trip. As you see signs, you know which directions to take and how to get to your destination. So, if you see a Stop sign, you know to stop your vehicle.
Let’s say that on a past road trip, you were in a car accident at a railroad crossing when another vehicle hit you suddenly. Therefore, every time you are driving near a railroad crossing, you feel very sick to your stomach and tense as you go into a panic. You are afraid you’ll be hit by another car suddenly.
Fast forward to this current road trip you’re taking. Every time you drive near a railroad crossing, you are going to be triggered and the past memories of the car accident will flood your current thoughts, emotions, and responses.
In this article:
This article gives tips on identifying and coping through Trauma Triggers, Flashbacks, and Dissociation.
Disclaimer: This article has educational resources about restoring wellness through trauma recovery, and is based on my research and my experiences. This information is not meant to take the place of medical treatment, counseling or therapy. If it would be helpful to talk to someone, wellness resources has information on how to contact a mental health professional in your area.
PTSD & Trauma Triggers
What are PTSD & Trauma Triggers?
What happens when you are triggered?
Flashbacks & Dissociation
What is a trauma flashback?
What is Dissociation?
10 Keys to Manage Triggers, Flashbacks, & Dissociation
Learn Trigger Coping Techniques
Trauma Therapy Recovery
PTSD & Trauma Triggers
What are PTSD & Trauma Triggers?
There are many different types of triggers, for this blog we are focusing on triggers associated with trauma.
Triggers = events or situations that remind the survivor of a past trauma.
Triggers usually re-awaken and re-stimulate past trauma memories. Therefore, I call them trauma triggers.
Does PTSD have triggers?
Yes, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) survivors may have triggers that re-awaken past traumatic event(s) .
What happens when you are triggered?
The trauma survivor perceives current threat(s) through an altered memory lens of past trauma.
Good Therapy explains that when a survivor is reminded of the trauma, this is what is happening inside automatically:
Their body responds as if the past trauma is happening in current time
The nervous system automatically goes into fight-flight-freeze mode
Emotional reactions bring on intense and usually overwhelming feelings
What does being triggered feel like?
An emotional reaction occurs immediately after being triggered, and can cause feelings of anxiety, fear, and panic.
When triggered, you may experience discomfort, distress (emotional, physical), or danger.
What triggers traumatic memories?
The trauma response, triggers, can be awakened and re-stimulated anything that reminds the survivor of the past traumatic memory. Common triggers are awakened by:
Sights
Sounds
Smells
Common Trauma Triggers
Knowing what common trauma triggers are can help you prepare ahead of time and be better able to handle a trigger when it happens.
Here are some common trauma triggers:
Anniversaries
Significant life events
Sensory overload
Loneliness
Separation or Loss
Lack of power or control
Transitions and schedule disruptions
Feelings of vulnerability or rejection
Feelings of being threatened or attacked
Flashbacks & Dissociation
So, when a person is triggered, they may experience re-occurring flashbacks and dissociation.
What is a trauma flashback?
A flashback is a re-occurring symptom of PTSD, where you feel like you are re-living the traumatic event.
How does a Flashback feel?
During a flashback, the person is triggered and feels as if the traumatic event is happening again. They’re literally re-living the trauma again.
All the same feelings, hormones, body reactions, and thoughts suddenly flood the survivor like they did when the traumatic event happened originally.
The flashback can seem like you’re sent back in time to the past traumatic event, and you may not even be aware of your current surroundings. Or the flashback can be like you’re in two time periods at the same time: the past traumatic event and the current situation.
Patterns of Flashbacks
It can be helpful to explore the patterns of trauma flashbacks as well as dissociation. Identifying your experience of a flashback can provide helpful information:
1) How a flashback happens (triggers)
2) The internal experience (thoughts, feelings, sensations)
3) External reactions (coping)
This can lead to beginning to understand healthier ways to manage this intense experience.
Dissociation is when a person feels disconnected from themselves and their surroundings.
What does Dissociation feel like?
When a person experiences a trigger and is dissociating, they may feel like they’re in a daydream, or being outside of their body.
This can happen quickly and can last a few minutes or longer. Some people may not remember the time span in which they were dissociated.
10 Keys to Manage Trauma Triggers, Flashbacks, and Dissociations
Let’s talk about how to manage triggers, flashbacks, and dissociation.
With greater awareness, you can learn to sense the triggers forming and improve your coping skills.
Learning how to identify triggers and gain coping skills can help you decrease the intensity and persistence of the triggers.
Keep reading to learn 10 Keys to Manage Triggers, Flashbacks and Dissociations:
2 Keys to manage Triggers
How to recover from triggers
Reduce Triggers = Identify Early Signs
5 Ways to identify early Trigger signs
3 Keys to manage a Flashback
2 Keys to Manage Triggers
In Psychology Today, there are 2 keys to identifying triggers, including flashbacks and dissociation.
Intensity
Persistence
When your response is extreme, your feelings will be way more intense and more persistent than usual.
Decrease Intensity
Begin to decrease intensity of triggers by first identifying how intense the trigger was when it occurred. This will help you gain awareness.
For example, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the worst intensity and 1 being no intensity, what would your trigger intensity measure on the scale?
Decrease Persistence
One of the ways to decrease the persistence of Triggers is by gaining awareness of how often the triggers happen. The more aware you become about the trigger, the more you will be able to notice before it happens.
Decrease Triggers Intensity & Persistence
These are the two keys to identifying that a trigger has occurred, sometimes through symptoms such as a flashback or dissociation.
Read more about how to Identify the intensity and persistence of triggers…
How do you recover from triggers?
Remember the metaphor of the car accident. Is it best to avoid railroad crossings? Well sure, if you can avoid them, that’s great. But it may not be possible on a road trip to avoid all railroad crossings.
Same with triggers, if you can avoid triggers, that would be less distress. Sometimes, you may be able to avoid triggering people and places with careful planning.
NOTE: Sometimes, avoiding the railroad crossing can cause the trigger responses to build and interfere with your daily functioning. This is one example when learning how to identify triggers can be helpful.
Prevent & Reduce Triggers: Identify Early Signs
Preventing triggers is key to reducing triggers. Therefore, identifying early signs of triggers is an essential skill that can be learned.
If you want to have less triggers, it’s essential to know what they are first.
Benefits of identifying triggers:
reduce triggers
better prepare you to cope
reduce intrusive thoughts
reduce disturbing memories
Identify Early Signs of Triggers
Sometimes, triggers may seem like they come out of nowhere and you’re swept away to memories of a traumatic event.
When triggers happen, there are usually early cues or signs that the traumatic memory is being triggered. The key is learning to identify those early symptoms.
5 Ways to Identify early Trigger Symptoms
Increase your awareness by identifying early trigger symptoms, by Very Well Mind.
What happened right before the flashback or dissociation?
What were you feeling? Change in mood?
What were you thinking?
What was happening around you or to you? Did the situation become stressful?
How does your body feel when stressed? Pressure in your chest? Suddenly sweating?
The more you practice increasing your awareness of yourself and your surroundings, the more aware you will become.
3 Keys to Manage a Flashback
From personal experience and from experts, these are helpful ideas for managing a flashback:
NAME the experience as a flashback (example- this is a memory, NOT a recurrence of the actual event)
Use LANGUAGE that categorizes the flashbacks as a “memory” (example- I was attacked, rather than I am being attacked
Use the SENSES to GROUNDself in your CURRENT environment:
In summary, flashbacks and dissociation are symptoms of trauma triggers.
Learn Trigger Coping Techniques
Calm Trigger Responses
When experiencing a triggered response, how can you calm the response?
We can be so hard on ourselves and others who are experiencing a trigger, which sets off more judgment and tension.
To create a loving and healing environment, create a safe space and help the person feel supported and loved.
Coping Techniques for Triggers
Here are a few ways to calm a trigger response, suggested by Lucille Zimmerman:
Give self-compassion and gratitude to your wounded self. This really helps by being loving to yourself, even the parts that you may not like at the time.
Allow your emotions by expressing them safely. Cry to a sad song, yell or sing loudly in your car, laugh at a silly joke, be angry and throw eggs at a tree,
Deep breathing, walking, and yoga release your body hormones all bouncing around your body. Release that tension and you’ll release positive, healing hormones.
Surround yourself with safe people who support you. Turn to a trusted friend, get a hug, talk to someone who will really listen to you and be there for you.
Listen to your body, senses, needs. Take a warm bath, cuddle up in a soft blanket, put on soothing essential oils, sit outside in nature for 15 minutes, play with or hold your pet who loves you.
Calming down a trigger response to a perceived threat can take minutes, hours, or days. Give yourself time to recover from a trigger.
Calm down your mind-body-spirit during a trigger using one of these techniques in these related articles.
Trauma Therapy Recovery can help survivors learn how to identify signs of triggers, prepare for them, and cope with triggers in a healthy and more effective way.
Process your emotions and thoughts related to your memories
Learn new healthy coping skills in dealing with triggers
Identify and reduce unhealthy behaviors and unhelpful coping skills
Practice relaxation techniques and increase calming down skills
7 out 10 people have experienced a traumatic event during their lifetime, and 20% of those people may be suffering from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) symptoms.
Identifying trauma triggers, flashbacks, and dissociation can help reduce the Trauma effects people many times and they don’t even know they have been through trauma. They just know that they are having trouble sleeping, easily startled, and having trouble functioning with daily life.
Read this article to learn tips on identifying the signs of trauma, types of trauma, and trauma therapy recovery.
I hope this info is helpful for you on your life journey.
If so, please share it with a friend and let us know how it has been the most helpful.
Join the Wellness Tribe
I’d love to hear about your journey towards wellness! What helps you gain wellness?
I hope you join us on your journey of improving your wellness. This tribe is a gathering place to improve wellness & connections, receive life-giving coping skills, and restore health in mind, body, and spirit.
7 out 10 people have experienced a traumatic event during their lifetime, and 20% of those people may be suffering from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) symptoms. Trauma effects people many times and they don’t even know they have been through trauma. They just know that they are having trouble sleeping, easily startled, and having trouble functioning with daily life.
What exactly is trauma and how do you recover from it? What are the signs of trauma & PTSD? What are the types of trauma and examples of PTSD?
Want to identify PTSD & Trauma symptoms? Keep reading…
In this Article: PTSD & Trauma Basics: Definitions, Effects, Symptoms
What is Trauma?
The effects of Trauma
What is PTSD?
4 Common PTSD Symptoms
Brain & Body Trauma Effects
Types of Trauma
Examples of Trauma
How to recover from Trauma
What is the treatment for Trauma: Trauma Therapy Recovery
What is Trauma?
Trauma can be any event that is distressing or life-threatening. Especially because Trauma can change your perspective, functioning and coping.
What defines Trauma?
Trauma can have many definitions, so let’s break it down & simplify it.
to a deeply disturbing or distressing event or experience.
Looking at trauma basic points will help us understand what it is and be able to identify when it is happening.
3 Common Elements of Trauma:
Unexpected= It is unexpected & frightening.
Unprepared= The person is unprepared.
Out of your control= If the trauma happens to you, there is nothing you can do to stop it from happening.
Tara Brach explains:
“Trauma is when we have encountered an out of control, frightening experience that has disconnected us from all sense of resourcefulness or safety or coping or love.”
Tara Brach, 2011
Simply put, traumatic events are:
unexpected & frightening,
beyond a person’s control (out of your control),
and the person is unprepared when the trauma happens to them.
How do you know when trauma happens or has happened? Looking at the signs of trauma can be helpful in determining if trauma has happened.
Signs of trauma can also be called symptoms; you could even call it wounds.
The effects from trauma can show up anytime after the event, from minutes to months afterwards. Sometimes, symptoms don’t start until years after the event.
Common Symptoms of Trauma:
Bad dreams or nightmares
Flashbacks
Emotional numbness
Intense guilt or worry
Angry outbursts
Feeling on ‘edge’
Avoiding thoughts & situations that are reminders of traumatic event
About 6 out of 10 people have experienced at least one traumatic event in childhood.
70% of adults in the U.S. have experienced a traumatic event at least once in their lives. This is about 223.4 million people in the U.S.
That’s 7 out of 10 people experiencing a traumatic event sometime in their lifetime.
How many people does PTSD effect?
When people experience trauma, not all of them experience Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
PTSDunited.org has statistics:
About 20% of the people who experience trauma, develop PTSD. In the U.S., that’s about 44.7 million people who have or are suffering from PTSD.
Imagine how many people live in the state of Texas. Well, that’s how many people have PTSD at any given time, which is 8% of the general population.
Women are almost twice as likely to develop PTSD when compared to men, that’s about 1 out of 9 women.
What is PTSD?
PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) is an anxiety response to a stressful event.
The most common group of people to experience were veterans in the military from war experiences. With recent research and science, there’s a new understanding. PTSD can develop with anyone at any age when they’ve experienced a stressful event.
To better understand PTSD, it can help to identify the symptoms of PTSD.
4 Common PTSD symptoms:
WebMD lists the most common symptoms of PTSD which lasts for a month or more.
Re-living
Bad dreams or nightmares
Intense flashbacks
Avoiding
Avoiding thoughts & situations that are reminders of traumatic event
Detachment, isolation, emotional numbness
Increased Arousal
Angry outbursts
Easily startled
Rapid breathing, nausea, diarrhea
Fight-flight-freeze responses
Negative Cognitions & Mood
Intense guilt
Blame
Worry
Brain & Body Trauma Effects
There are actually changes in the brain and body when trauma happens, and for those who develop PTSD.
Trauma survivors’ brains and nervous system are:
Stuck in high-alert and overdrive
Flooded with hormones
Effecting the body’s immune system
Changes attention span, thinking & planning, and emotions
Trauma can be life-threatening experiences such as war, sexual assault, accidents, and natural disasters.
A doctor has been chronically sick for the last year after a car accident. A college age man has trouble sleeping and is easily startled soon after being mugged. A parent loses a child and can’t seem to function daily with basic life skills.
Each of these people has experienced a traumatic event and is suffering from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).
Trauma can be big or small, one-time or multiple times, and can be direct and indirect.
Here’s some examples of trauma to help you get a bigger picture.
Examples of Trauma
Violence = including domestic & family violence, dating violence, community violence such as shooting, mugging, burglary, assault, and bullying
Abuse = verbal abuse such as yelling and cursing, physical abuse such as hitting and slapping, emotional abuse such as degrading insults and public humiliation, psychological abuse such as exploitation and cruel neglect
Military and combat exposure
Accidents = car accidents, plane crash, boating accident
Marie Kondo’s, Tidying Up, is this fabulous show on Netflix about how decluttering with what Sparks Joy for you. Read about the KonMari Method, the health benefits of decluttering, where to start, and a KONMARI Tidying Up CHECKLIST.
You might be confused and wondering if I’m talking about a vacation or a decluttering method. Well, keep reading to find out how decluttering can be all these wonderful things.
Here are a few steps when you are de-cluttering and simplifying to help you move forward.
KonMari Meaning
The meaning behind the KonMari method is to bring joy and prosperity to your home, by living in a clutter-free zone.
There is something to this clutter-free idea. The Spruce, Good Housekeeping & Martha Stewart encourage using the KonMari method to declutter and organize your home.
Health Benefits of Tidying Up
Perfect spaces are not practical, but living in a uncluttered space has many Health Benefits.
Creates a sense of confidence and self-efficacy (seeing yourself as competent)
Boosts energy and productivity
Develops creativity
Reduces anxiety
Allows mind wandering and (sometimes) involves physical activity
Reduces relationship and family tension
Find lost treasures.
Improves sleep
Frees up your schedule
Rids home of allergies
Reduces financial pressures
Helps address hidden behavioral issues
Celebrate Decluttering
Make it a special event.
Get dressed up, or at least don’t wear your sweats with holes in them.
Here’s some ways to celebrate this special event:
Put on a fun outfit
Turn on some happy music
Take a before and after picture
Commit to decluttering
Celebrate being able to declutter and start afresh.
Visualize your dream space
Visualize what you want, what’s your goal for your home?
Resting & rejuvenation space
Hosting family and friends
Play space with your children or grandchildren
Creative space
Spiritual Focus Decluttering
Spiritually give thanks to your home for bringing shelter, memories, and a space for you to live.
This is such a unique focus while decluttering and organizing. I believe this one added benefit is what makes the KonMari method so unique.
Spiritually giving thanks and being thankful for what we have changes our focus from negative to positive, from grumpy to joyful, and from guilt-ful to thankful.
Thank you Marie Kondo for helping me change my mindest!
More on mindset in this article.
Acknowledge your feelings.
The more we avoid our feelings, the more we suffer in silence.
The more we learn to live with our feelings, the more we live in harmony with ourselves.
We cannot separate our chaos and our clutter from our emotions. So, how we can deal with our emotions and declutter at the same time?
There are tips on how to deal with feelings while decluttering in this article:
Choosing what to keep may be difficult and seem stressful.
In this article, there are helpful self-reflection questions to ask yourself that can help you choose what to keep.
Choose one category
Choose one category to work on at a time.
This is where it’s different from most organizing and decluttering methods. The KonMari Method focuses on one category at a time, not the location.
This really helps because focusing on one category helps you see all the items you own in that category.
Check out the categories below, there are 5 main categories in the KonMari method.
KonMari Order of Decluttering
There is an order of decluttering.
The KonMari method starts with clothes, probably because that’s the one thing we need each day and this category can get out of hand really quick.
5 KonMari Declutter Categories
The main categories in order are: clothes, books, papers, miscellaneous, and sentimental.
Clothes
Books
Paper
Miscellaneous (Komono)
Sentimental
Each of those categories have sub-categories.
For example, clothes can be further broken down when decluttering: tops, bottoms, jackets, socks, and so on.
KonMari Decluttering: Clothes
Gather all your clothes from around the house, including out of season clothes, pajamas, everything. Pile them on your bed or floor. Keep items that spark joy, and let go of all the other items.
Pick up each item and thank it for being there for you. Now, ask yourself if each item sparks joy for you. Keep items that spark joy, and let go of all the other items.
KonMari: Clothes
Tops, shirts, sweaters, hoodies
Bottoms, pants, shorts
Pajamas
Underwear
Bras
Socks
Scarves
Belts
Jackets
Costumes
Uniforms
Swimsuits
Workout clothes
You can include these items now or later with miscellaneous (step 4), but now might be easier than later.
Clothes continued:
Shoes
Boots
Hats
Gloves
Jewelry
Purses
Bags
KonMari Decluttering: Books
I love books, so much that I wanted a whole room for a personal library one day! I hate to throw out any books, ever! So, decluttering books takes on a whole new meaning with the KonMari method. I need clean, ordered space around me to think clearly and work on my projects I really care about! So, it’s worth a try!!
First, assemble all your booksaround the entire house, and put them on your living room floor. Now touch the books to wake them up, since they’ve probably been sleeping for awhile. Just don’t open them up to bring on false joy.
KonMari: Books
Cookbooks
Textbooks
General books
Kids books
Magazines
Reference books
Phone books
It’s not about if the book is a good book, or if you might read it again one day. The main question is does it bring you joy? Will this book help you on your journey ahead? If yes, keep it. If no, give it away, quickly before you change your mind.
KonMari Decluttering: Paper
Okay, this would be my second hardest category to declutter. I have piles of paper that I love to file and keep forever. Yep, forever. So, getting rid of paper is a heavy task. But oh so worth it if I can get to my desk again!!
Organize all of your paper, important and non-important. Put it all on the dining room table and organize the papers into 3 piles: (1) papers that need attention, (2) papers you need to keep short-term, and (3) papers you need to keep forever.
KonMari: Papers
Coupons
Receipts
Taxes
Files
Warranties
Instruction Manuals
Important documents (mortgages, birth certificates)
Bills
Greeting cards
Handouts
Recipes
Notes
TIP: Paper & Taxes
It’s also good to keep a few years of tax returns.
– Paper that needs attention(Bills to be paid, forms to be filled out, etc.) – Paper you need to keep short-term(Tax documents for the current year, warranties, etc.) – Paper you need to keep forever(Contracts, mortgage paperwork, birth certificates, etc.)
If you still have too much stuff after going through all the papers, go through it all again. This time you may be able to get rid of more papers you don’t need.
TIP: Scanning Papers
Try scanning papers that are important but you don’t want to keep around the house.
Now throw out everything else!!
File each category and label it so you can easily file throughout the year.
TIP: Plan Purging
Plan a little time to go through the paper files on a regular basis, so it doesn’t stack up too bad. Some people purge weekly, some purge monthly.
KonMari Decluttering: Komono = Miscellaneous
Wow, this seems like a lot, because it’s everything else in your house and garage!! Except for anything sentimental, that’s the last category.
Amanda @ loveandrenovations.combreaks this category down into a few subcategories to help her stay motivated and focused. She has one blog post on kitchen & bathrooms, and another post on living spaces.
Komono includes all miscellaneous:
General
Kids items
Toys, games, puzzles
Pets stuff
Craft supplies
Office
Kitchen
Bathrooms
Garage
Shed
Porches
Cleaning Supplies
Decorations
Bedding & Linens
Towels
Entertainment
Marie Kondo might say to do it all at once, not sure. I say, whatever keeps you motivated and focused to keep going!
Consider the valuable space each item is taking up, and toss all the items not bringing you joy!
KonMari Decluttering: Sentimental
This is a good category to be saved for last! Because after you go through the first 4 categories, you will have a new mindset and be prepared to tackle the hardest things to let go of… sentimental items.
Sentimental includes anything that is meaningful to you. Whatever has value for you can also be sentimental to you. When you’re looking through your stuff, do you get emotional about even thinking about getting rid of any of it?
Well, I get it!! I am so sentimental with so many of my things, that I have a hard time getting rid of most of my stuff. So, this method is such a game changer for me, because it is helping me reframe how to look at stuff I care about.
KonMari: Sentimental Items
Photos
Journals, diaries
Memorabilia
Scrapbooks
Personal letters
Heirlooms
Trophies
Keep reading to help you declutter & find joy:
decluttering questions
sharing thanks
give away or keep
KonMari folding method
organize after decluttering
Need a Checklist?
Check out tips on how to work through deciding if each item brings you joy or not.
Ok, now we are getting to the point in the decluttering process that we are most familiar with: to give away or keep each item.
This is actually where most organization methods start, skipping essential steps of gratitude and finding joy.
Now that you have focused on one category, and have found joy with a most precious item. It will be easier to decide what to give away and what to keep.
Put the item in the give away pile or keep pile.
Respectfully let go
Respectfully let go, donate (give away) or store items:
brings sadness or pain, does not bring joy
not useful for this season in your life
keeping you stuck, not helping you move forward
just holding onto it because someone gave it to me, feel guilty giving it away
Respectfully allow these items to bring joy to someone who could use them right now.
Check out the visual images on my KonMari Pinterest Board of the KonMari method of folding includes all clothing & linens:
Clothing
pants
shorts
shirts
underwear
hoodies
Linens
towels
sheets, even the bottom sheet!!
wash rags
dish towels
Additionally, here’s a website with some pretty simple steps on folding KonMari style: goop.com
Organize after Decluttering
Yeah, now it’s onto organizing after everything is decluttered.
KonMari Boxes & Storage
The KonMari method is great at organizing all the joyful items into boxes and storage containers.
Storage boxes & containers help the new organization stay clean & easy to find.
Store the items that are out of season in a storage container, maybe something you have around, like shoeboxes or baskets.
This is also a great place to invest in organization trays for drawers, and boxes for closets.
Store Similar Items
Store similar items together so it’s easier to find what you’re looking for.
For example, keep short sleeve shirts together, then arrange them by color. Keep books you use often on the same shelf. Keep pots and pans in the same cabinet.
KonMari Decluttering Checklist
Whoop, whoop!! I love checklists!!
Checklist make my life way more manageable and simpler. Need to know what to do next? Look at your checklist.
I hope this info is helpful for you on your life journey.
If so, please share it with a friend and let us know how it has been the most helpful.
Join the Wellness Tribe
I’d love to hear about your journey towards wellness! What helps you gain wellness?
I hope you join us on your journey of improving your wellness. This tribe is a gathering place to improve wellness & connections, receive life-giving coping skills, and restore health in mind, body, and spirit.
Ok, I found a show that really does bring joy in my home, especially helping with organizing & decluttering!! I love watching Marie Kondo on her show, Tidying Up, on Netflix. I started watching the first season and before I knew it, I was on season 6.
It’s a fresh of breath air for me, there’s something unique about her style of organizing and decluttering! It’s changing the way people see clutter, mess, and disorder.
Well, keep reading to learn how to organize and bring joy!
Ask Yourself: Does this Bring Joy?
The most important self-reflection question Marie Kondo asks is “Does this bring me joy?”
Self-reflection questions help confirm how you feel about every item you possess.
Most Important Question
Ultimately, this is the most important question to ask yourself:
Do I feel joy with this item?
Does this bring me joy?
Let’s say you’re going through your clothes, you pick up each item and ask yourself this one simple question: Does this bring me joy?
What does ‘bring joy’ mean exactly?
Excited Joy
Well, if the item brings you excited joy, you might:
feel proud wearing it
love the way you felt when having this item
maybe you feel really excited about this item
feel happy when around this item
Feel stuck? What joy?
If you still feel stuck and unsure about how an item makes you feel, you may not be sure if the item bring you joy.
Any Spark of Joy?
So, prioritize by finding one item that you know brings you true joy.
Choose what you really love & find joyful.
Do you see anything in here that clearly sparks joy for you?
When you are going through clothes for example, it might help to choose a piece of clothing that you love to wear. One person may choose a favorite bathrobe, another might choose a favorite shirt.
Your favorite items bring will bring you joy.
Now that you have chosen what you really love and find joyful, you will know what that feels like for that clothing item to bring you joy.
Still stuck? Read below for my very own bonus tip I use with the KonMari method.
Moving Forward Brings Joy
Moving forward can be difficult.
Sometimes, you may have trouble moving forward, and feel overwhelmed. When these emotions flood over you, it can be difficult to logically decide what to keep and what to let go of.
With each category, ask yourself what will help you move forward.
Maybe you could start by tackling a less difficult area. Then work your way up to a harder area. Read the next article, about which areas to tackle first.
There are self-reflections questions that can help you move forward.
De-clutter questions to ask yourself:
“What would I like to bring with me in the future?”
“Will this item be beneficial in my life going forward?”
What to Keep Forever
It’s actually okay to choose certain special items to keep forever!!
As you are focusing on each category, find the one special item that means the most to you.
Keep Forever Question:
Ask yourself this question:
“What’s the number one item that you will never let go?”
Now you will remember your fullest feeling of joy with your special item, and be able to measure other items to your joy scale.
Read about my tip that helps me… BONUS: Joy Scale
BONUS: Joy Scale
This is my very own tip that helps me when I’m stuck. Using it with the KonMari Method really helps me move forward!
When emotions get the best of us, there are coping skills we can use that can help us regulate our emotions. One of the coping skills I use often and I’ve seen it help my clients is the scale.
Emotion Scales
Scales are used to help measure emotions, to understand how intense you are feeling an emotion. Scales are a Solution-Focused Therapy approach that help measure the intensity of something, to get a bigger picture of how intense is it.
For me, sometimes it’s easier to measure a feeling on a scale (similar to levels) to understand it’s depth of meaning for me. If this makes it harder or more complicated, you don’t have to use this scale for de-cluttering.
Joy Scale
Here’s how the Joy Scale works….
Imagine the feeling of joy on a ladder with 10 rungs (levels).
Consider the feeling of Joy on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 = being the most joy you can imagine feeling, and 1 = being no joy.
Ask yourself: “What would I feel about this item on a scale of 1 to 10?”
Cut off level
With 10 levels on your scale of Joy, what level would you like to indicate it’s time to give an item away?
Now, what number is your cut off?
For example, if a 10 is my ultimate joy when I have my favorite dress on, then a dress at a level 5 might be my cut off level. So, I would give away anything that I’d rate at a 5 and under.
SUMMARY OF THIS ARTICLE:
Ask Yourself: Does This Bring Joy?
Moving forward brings joy
What to Keep Forever
Bonus: Joy Scale
Where to start & why
RELATED ARTICLES:
Where to Start & Why
Great news, there are 2 more articles to help you get more organized and help you de-clutter your space!
Why The KonMari Method Works
Why de-clutter, organize, and clean your space where you live?
Seriously, de-cluttering can be overwhelming.
Check out the simple goal of The KonMari Method and why it works!
Where to Start with The KonMari Method
Now, the next step is what to tackle first in your home.
Where do you start??
More on that topic in the another article! Yep, that’s 2 more helpful articles about Marie Kondo’s: The KonMari Method.
I hope this info is helpful for you on your life journey.
If so, please share it with a friend and let us know how it has been the most helpful.
Join the Wellness Tribe
I’d love to hear about your journey towards wellness! What helps you gain wellness?
I hope you join us on your journey of improving your wellness. This tribe is a gathering place to improve wellness & connections, receive life-giving coping skills, and restore health in mind, body, and spirit.
Life transitions & transformations can be so difficult and you may feel overwhelmed and anxious, wondering how to survive. During transitions, we are forced to change and deal with intense emotions and may need a few good coping skills.
This article includes tips on how to manage & thrive through difficult life transitions. This can be a time of renewal, purpose, and hope.
Read more about how to transform and have a 2nd chance to create a meaningful life.
Disclaimer: This article has educational resources about restoring wellness through trauma recovery, and is based on my research and my experiences. This information is not meant to take the place of medical treatment, counseling or therapy. If it would be helpful to talk to someone, wellness resources has information on how to contact a mental health professional in your area.
In this article:
How to Transform through Life’s Transitions:
Transitions & Transformations: Problems or Opportunities?
2nd Chance Transformations
Your Time, Your Choice
4 Stages of Transformation
Beginning of a New Season
New Development in Mind-Body-Spirit
Shedding Old Ways & Cleaning Out the Old Stuff
Create an Intentional Life Full of Meaning
Transitions & Transformations: Messy and Beautiful
3 Tips for an Easier Transitions & Transformations
Bonus: Life Seasons & Transitions
Transitions & Transformations: Problems or Opportunities?
Do you feel stuck in a transition, like this new season was suddenly dropped on you?
Transitions can feel overwhelming and throw us off our familiar routines!! If that’s not enough, Transitions can also be hard on relationships with those we care about, making our entire life feel upside down.
Wait, does it have to be that way? Transitions don’t have to be all bad… we actually have an opportunity to Transform & improve for the better!
WHAT?? You may ask…
2nd Chances: Transitions & Transformations
When Transitions happen, we have an opportunity to transform into who we want to be.
Transitions can be intended and then other transitions just happen without time to prepare.
Intentional Transformation
So, even after an Un-Intentional Transformation, there is still an opportunity to Intentionally Transform & grow into who you want to be.
Intentional Transformation can be helpful & healthy, an opportunity to grow and develop, a chance to live a life that is amazing and meaningful!!
I am intentionally choosing to transform versus transformation happening to me unintentionally!!
Will you choose to embrace your transformation?
Your Time, Your Choice
You have a choice on how you will respond to the transition.
This is your time! This is your choice!
You can intentionally choose to transform for the better.
That’s what I want to do, live a transformational life of deep meaning and help others do the same.
How do you transition & transform for the better?
4 Stages of Transformation
Let’s understand what the 4 Stages of Transformation are first.
I love the idea of transformation, the beauty of new beginnings and 2nd chances.
Examples of Transformation
Examples of transformation in nature and entertainment are in this article: Year of Transformation: Hope, Butterflies, and Trauma Recovery
But in reality, transitions can be difficult when we’re in the middle of it, messy and muddled. To bounce back quicker and better, sometimes it helps to have guidance seeing the bigger picture and knowing we are not alone.
From life experience and from a little research, I summarize Transformation into 4 stages.
4 Stages of Life Transitions & Transformations: How to Manage & Thrive through Difficult Life Seasons.
Stage 1: Beginning of a new season
The beginning and infancy of a new season, new life, new beginning can be so …
scary and unsure
exciting and joyful
many emotions, ups and downs
New seasons take lots of energy!
There are so many things to learn in this new season, so there will be a big learning curve. The more you learn, the more you’ll need to rest and rejuvenate. Learning takes a lot of energy!
It’s the time absorb knowledge around you from mentors, teachers, and those who have gone ahead of you on the journey.
The more flexible you can be at this stage, the better you will embrace the changes happening.
Yet, many times I don’t even know it’s a new season until I’m in the middle of it, like in stage 2.
Stage 2: New development in Mind-Body-Spirit
Personal, physical, and spiritual development are just a few ways to grow during transformations.
In the middle of transitions, there are so many opportunities for personal growth and development. This 2nd stage is the development stage of life-giving resources.
The more life-giving resources you have when transitioning, the easier time you’ll have with change and transformation.
Life-Giving Resources:
First of all, what is life-giving?
Life-giving resources are anything that give you life, brings you joy, helps you feel better. This can include:
people who help you be the best version of you
places that help rejuvenate you when you visit
activities that make you smile
things that give you positive energy
Develop Life-Giving Resources
So, how do you develop life-giving resources? Consider what resources give you life, vs. drain energy from you. Now, think about how you can develop more life-giving resources.
This 3rd stage is an uncomfortable stage of transformation, yet necessary and vital for the complete cycle of personal growth. So, let me share how I practice this stage intentionally.
The idea of shedding old ways is not really a positive image to me. I first think of the snake shedding his skin. WAIT, don’t run… there’s a better image than that…
A tree shedding it’s leaves…
The key for me is to remind myself of the natural image of a tree shedding it’s leaves during a fall season.
The tree has to shed it’s leaves to hibernate for winter, and to to get ready for spring. There is hope around the corner… spring is coming.
Seedling –> tree –> shedding leaves –> flowers
I need to allow the shedding of the old ways that are no longer helpful, to have room to accept the new ways that are way more helpful and healing.
Transitions & Transformations
Beautiful growth
Create –> Grow –> Beauty
Comfort fills me when I consider the tree sheds to hibernate and then to Grow. As long as I remember that there will be a Beautiful growth as the goal, it will help me shed the old ways.
This is all part of a cycle, with each stage having it’s own season:
Stage 4: Live an Intentional Life
Create new ways to live an Intentional Life full of meaning
Ah, to breathe in new life is so beautiful and so hopeful.
The stage is worth every minute of the struggle, the pain, and the growth challenges of the first 3 stages.
Stage 4 is worth the wait!
Well, because now, you have a choice on how you respond.
You get to choose how you want to live!
Living an Intentional Life full of meaning
Stage 4 is all about your choices, your voice, your time!
What is Intentional Transformation?
First, Transformation is …
A thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance. A time for renewing, revision, reshaping.
Metamorphosis = A time of transfiguration, conversion, changing.
Induced or spontaneous of one element into another by a significant process
A time of shifting, adaptation, adjustment, modification.
A season of diversity, innovation, reconstruction, revision.
A time of transition, development, progress, and regeneration.
Understand more about the messy & beautiful transitions & transformations.
Transitions & Transformations: Messy and Beautiful
Transitions & Transformation can be messy, but oh so worth beautiful.
Beginning, Middle & End of Transitions
Beginning of Transitions & Transformations
At first, it can feel uncomfortable and awkward. Shifts can begin to happen inside, a shift in values, beliefs, expectations, and perspectives.
There are times it may be hard to figure out what is going on in life, when things feel different.
Whoa, that’s a lot of shifting going on, right? At times, it feels like a big earthquake, and can seem shaky and scary.
Remember, to grow into a butterfly, you have to be willing to get messy and go into that chrysalis (like a cocoon).
Middle of Transitions & Transformations
During this time, you may be wandering around trying to find your way, not sure of what is happening really. It can be lonely and sad.
This can be a confusing time and it may be helpful to find a friend to walk with you on this part of the journey. The key is finding the right person to support you.
Keep in mind, this is the time to shed old ways to make way for new & more helpful ways.
So, if you’re not finding support, search for a group of encouragers online or visit your local church or support group.
End of Transitions & Transformations
You’re almost to the end, don’t give up yet!! This is the hardest part because you’re probably exhausted and wondering what happens now.
Well, this is the time to create your new path for what’s important to you.
Take time to brainstorm what brings you Joy:
what’s important to you
become who you want to be
intentionally life a life full of meaning
What Brings You Joy
New article coming soon … What Brings You Joy: Transformations learned from KonMori Method & Marie Kondo
3 Tips for Easier Transitions and Transformations
Yep, change is hard for many of us. So, it can be helpful to have guidance from a friend to help you along the way.
Here’s a little guidance, I hope it is helpful.
3 helpful tips
These are 3 helpful tips to help your transition & transformation be a little easier. This is from my own experiences and research from clients and other personal growth experts.
#1 tip: Connect with others.
First, we need support and connections with others, without it we literally don’t thrive or live as long.
Seriously, people who have little to no friendships live a shorter lifespan. Research even states that people with few close friendships don’t thrive or meet their goals as well.
“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.”
Helen Keller
So, let’s get out there and invest in healthy, life-giving relationships!
Share with a friend how you are struggling and ask your friend to support you. As they support you, you may feel stronger and be able to handle your transition easier.
Studies show:
You can live longer when you are in relationships with other people
You can thrive and you are more likely to meet your goals in relationship with people
#2 tip: Accept and embrace change
Acceptance is key to being able to transform and grow.
Without acceptance, we just fight it and struggle more. I talk more about Embracing vs. Fighting Transformation in this article: Year of Transformation: Hope, Butterflies, and Trauma Recovery
Here’s a few helpful ways to accept and embrace change:
Try to accept each day and each moment as it happens.
One day at a time is usually enough to handle during times of change.
Try to see the transition from another perspective.
Ask a trusted friend how they would handle this transition if they were experiencing it. You don’t have to adopt the same perspective, sometimes it can help just to see from another perspective.
Think of the bigger picture.
How will this change effect your life long-term? Is there hope that things could improve?
Tip #3: Go with the flow & be flexible.
As life changes, be willing to go with the flow. Being flexible may sound easy, but it’s literally something we need to practice doing. That’s how it gets easier, practice being flexible in mind-body-spirit.
Is there one thing you could do, to help this transition be easier for you?
Usually, we fight change. So, if you were working alongside change, how could you make your life a littler easier?
I hope this info is helpful for you on your life journey. If so, please share it with a friend and let us know how it has been the most helpful.
Join the Wellness Tribe
I’d love to hear about your journey towards wellness! What helps you gain wellness?
I hope you join us on your journey of improving your wellness. This tribe is a gathering place to improve wellness & connections, receive life-giving coping skills, and restore health in mind, body, and spirit.
As a Mental Health Professional & Registered Integrative Sandtray Therapist I love how Sandtray Therapy Miniatures help people heal. Have you heard of the movie, Welcome to Marwen, and how miniatures can help bring healing and hope to trauma survivors?
Seriously, this movie is inspired by a true story & I have my own story of how miniatures bring healing.
Want to know how Sandtray Therapy Miniatures help Trauma Survivors heal? Read more…
This blog post:
On this page, I’ll covers the who, what, where of Sandtray Therapy & Miniatures. I’ll also post an update on my FaceBook page when I find new & unique miniatures, woohoo!
Important: This article has resources about restoring wellness, and is based on my research and my experiences. This information is not meant to take the place of counseling or therapy. If at any time you feel uncomfortable or need to talk to someone, wellness resources can help you find a counselor and resources that may be helpful.
Welcome to Marwen (movie)
“Putting together pieces from his old and new life, Mark meticulously creates a wondrous town where he can heal and be heroic.”
https://www.welcometomarwen.com/synopsis/
Oh how I am so excited to see this movie!! Inspired by a true story, this is how how miniatures can help bring healing and hope to trauma survivors.
Universal Studios and Forest Gump’s director have created a movie about artistic imagination “restores the human spirit.” The main character, Mark (Steve Carell), finds hope again after meeting an empowering woman. He creates a fantasy world of miniatures that also equips him with strength in his real life.
This is how I help people, by having a safe space for them to create their world of miniatures. Teens and adults come to me for counseling because they are in a crisis and they’re overwhelmed.
People process their pains, their struggles, their dreams through miniatures in Sandtray Therapy. They find meaning, strength, and resiliency to bounce back from life’s adversities. They heal, they love, they live.
Why Sandtray Therapy?
Well, I was introduced to Sandtray Therapy in graduate counseling school getting my masters in Mental Health Counseling. There was one day that changed my life and specialized my calling.
I remember sitting down with my chosen miniatures representing my family. It was my turn to share about my family, and I enjoyed sharing. Then we took turns processing, one example is asking clarifying questions.
My fellow graduate counseling student asked me one simple question, “Where is your miniature?”
My Own Miniature
I was shocked, I mean, surely I was in the family. Before I could speak, tears welled up in my eyes.
I had forgotten myself, I was not in the miniatures of my family. The whole time, I had carefully chose each family member, and I had forgotten myself.
This reality was exactly what I needed. For years, in fact my whole time being a mother, I had put others first. This is all good, until you forget about yourself completely.
Miniatures are Visual Images
Nobody needed to say a word after that moment. I could clearly see that I had forgotten myself.
These miniatures represented my reality, my life, my own choices.
I had forgotten about the importance of taking care of myself so that I could take care of others.
Whenever I fly, the flight crew explain that parents need to put on the oxygen mask first. Because if you as the parent, put on your child’s oxygen mask on them first, you may pass out before getting your own oxygen mask on. Then your child will have no parent to help them survive.
During an emergency, put the oxygen mask on yourself first.
Trauma Recovery & Sandtray Therapy
Sandtray Therapy Miniatures represent real life, emotions, visual images stored in our right brain.
During Trauma Recovery, this is so important to have therapy that can help survivors heal. Sandtray Therapy is a non-directive, client-centered therapy that focuses on the client’s needs, client’s strengths, and client’s goals.
Miniatures are used as tools to help client’s process what is going on in their lives, their struggles, their relationships, their dreams. Clients choose miniatures and share their interpretation of wha the miniatures represent to them.
Miniatures are safe representations, client’s can bury them in the sand, box them up, and even take them out of their world.
Sandtray Therapy & Integrative Brain Experiences
The right brain matches the visual image with what’s going on internally, then the left brain finds words to identify what the images mean. Sandtray Therapy integrates the right and left parts of the brain together, bringing healing from the start.
It’s a magical and healing experience. Client’s come away amazed at how this works. And my clients are usually adolescents and adults of all ages.
So, that is why Sandtray Therapy Miniatures mean so much to me, both personally and professionally. People can process difficult experiences and practice coping skills using miniatures for trauma recovery.
Miniatures are wonderful healing tools integrating mind-body-spirit.
If you like to learn more about Sandtray Therapy & Miniatures, join my FaceBook page. I share wellness resources and coping tools to help with anxiety. Future posts will include trauma recovery steps.
Disclaimer: Please note that this blog contains affiliate links. This means that if you purchase through these links, the price will be the same for you. And I’ll receive a small commission that helps support my blog and my family. Hope you have a blessed day!
New Deals on Miniatures
These are fantastic deals on Miniatures, which can be used for Sandtray Therapy and Play Therapy. I hope you have as much fun as I did finding favorite Miniatures for your play therapy room.
It’s important to know who the Miniatures are for, so you know what specific miniatures can be the most helpful.
Yes, I find treasures for me and I find Miniatures for my clients, too! You don’t want a therapy room full of stuff you don’t use or need, so it’s important to know who you client is and will be in the future.
What ages are your clients?
Think about your average client population. What population group do you usually see in therapy sessions?
Miniatures by Age Group
Developmentally, if you see young children vs. teenagers, you’d choose different types of resources. So, let’s look at a few resources examples from various populations.
Children: animals, babies
Teens: fantasy, princesses
Adults: gardens, mystery
I see a lot of teens and adults, so I am always looking for abstract miniatures. It’s great to think creatively and be flexible, so I look for miniatures that represent emotions & struggles.
What culture(s) would your clients identify with?
We live in southern Louisiana so the Mardi Gras culture is very big. Be sure to have spiritual & religious miniatures to represent your community where you practice.
This all matters because the type of Sandtray Therapy Miniatures will depend on your clients’ age group, interests, and culture.
14 Places to find Miniatures
I’m still growing my collection and I’ve been doing this for a few years.
There are tons of places to find Sandtray Therapy Miniatures!! Everywhere I go I look for miniatures. Here’s my list of where to look for those awesome treasures, and this list is always growing.
1. Estate Sales — I find the most unique miniatures at estate sales: collectibles, small houses, metal animals, fairy houses, garden miniatures
2. Garage Sales — This is the cheapest place to find miniatures, I usually pay 25 cents per miniature at garage sales. Sometimes there’s a box of McDonald’s toys that can be perfect for Sandtray Therapy.
You can find garage sales in your local newspaper, and through garage sales apps.
3. Children’s toys — when you’re kids or a friend’s kids outgrow their toys and don’t play with them anymore, they may be more than happy to give them to you for free or a good deal
Local U.S. Stores to Find Miniatures
4. Grocery Stores — We all have to eat & we all go to grocery stores often, or at least I do! Well, check out your grocery store toy aisle, they’ll occasionally mark down toys on clearance to make way for new toys.
5. Thrift Stores & Goodwill –– this can be a great place to find amazing deals because miniatures go for $1-$2, just have to keep your eyes open
6. Pharmacy — clearance toys and miniatures can be found here
7. Gas Stations — you can find tourist miniatures, like state emblems, state animal, college mascots, cultural miniatures
8. 2nd hand stores (Once Upon a Child) — I love to shop at Once Upon A Child in the toy section! I can find Sandtray Therapy Miniatures and children’s books, blocks and play therapy toys here.
9. Hardware & Garden Stores — Great garden miniatures & cool Sandtray Therapy tools, such as specialty sand buckets & shovels.
National U.S. Stores with Miniatures
10. Hobby Lobby — Fantastic toys and miniatures here at one of my favorite stores, yeah!!! You can always find Toob miniatures for $10 each, use the 40% off coupon on one, so it will be $6.
There are phenomenal animals, fantasy, and dinosaurs, plus other miniatures here! Good quality and anywhere from $4-$10 each. I just bought a beautiful unicorn and a pegasus here.
Every time I go to Hobby Lobby, I buy one miniature and use the 40% coupon on their webpage.
11. Dollar Store — Great toys and miniatures here, you just have to look for the good ones the will last for awhile. I just bought some Incredible miniatures and Winnie the Pooh miniatures recently for $1 each.
In the summer, this is a great place to get sand buckets & shovels.
Also, buckets or baskets are great here for your clients to carry around while they choose what miniatures to put in the Sand Tray.
12. Big Lots — I love the fairy miniatures here in the garden section, plus pretty cool miniatures in the home section sometimes.
13. Walmart & Target –– popular toys and classic miniatures are almost always stocked: family figures, Disney characters, DC Comic Superheroes, Legos, doll houses, dress up clothes, play kitchens
14. Sam’s Club & Costco — here’s where popular toys will be at good prices usually: doll houses, Marvel characters, cars, play kitchens & houses
When to find Sandtray Therapy Miniatures
The best time to find deals is around holidays, on clearance or close-outs, and online.
Holiday Seasons
Look before, during, and after Holidays, that’s when Miniatures will go on sale. The biggest clearance sales will be after the holidays. Just know that’s also when there are less items.
So, if you have any particular items you really want & need, get it when you find it, even if it’s before the holiday.
New Years
Valentine’s Day
Mardi Gras
Easter
Independence Day
Thanksgiving
Christmas
Hanukkah
Look for Themes in Stores & Online
Spring
Summer
Vacation
Fall
School
Halloween
Winter
Clearance section at stores — check out stores’ clearance sections for deals
Coupons at stores — Hobby Lobby has a 40% coupon on their website’s home page, you can pull it up on your phone while checking out and they’ll apply it to one regular price item
What are some of your favorite miniatures? Do you have any other places or ways to find great miniatures? Please share on our FaceBook page, we’d love to help find more miniatures for all.
If this information is helpful, please share it with a friend.
Join the Wellness Tribe
I’d love to hear about your journey towards wellness! What helps you gain wellness?
I hope you join us on your journey of improving your wellness. This tribe is a gathering place to improve wellness & connections, receive life-giving coping skills, and restore health in mind, body, and spirit.
Life is stressful, so having safe spaces is essential. Having a back-up plan of safe spaces is very helpful when you’re in a potentially de-stabilizing situation. Having safe people and safe spaces can be very helpful, but not always realistic. So, when external safe spaces are not available, here’s how to create 12 multisensory safe spaces for internal safety & stability.
Important: This article has resources about restoring wellness, and is based on my research and my experiences. This information is not meant to take the place of counseling or therapy. If at any time you feel uncomfortable or need to talk to someone, wellness resources can help you find a counselor and other resources that may be helpful.
Disclaimer: Please note that this blog contains affiliate links. This means that if you purchase through these links, the price will be the same for you. And I’ll receive a small commission that helps support my blog and my family. Hope you have a blessed day!
What is Safety?
First, to get a bigger picture of safety, what’s does unsafe usually mean?
Unsafe = fear, danger, risk, harm
So, fear would be opposite of feeling safe. I am usually afraid when I am in danger, or feel like I am in potential danger.
Being around toxic people, conflict interactions, and tense environments can seem potentially dangerous and risky.
De-stabilizing situations can cause a person’s reaction to spiral, increasing in anxiety, triggers, fear, addictive patterns, and unhelpful behaviors.
So, now let’s tackle what safety usually means:
Safe = protected, unharmed, secure,
Being in a safe environment
Having safe people around you
Making safe choices
Having an inner peace of safety and stability
Feeling comfortable to be yourself
Having confidence to follow your dreams
Now that we understand what safety is, we can focus on how to create safety.
Back-Up Plans
I came away from a Sandtray Therapy training with a playlist of our favorite anthem songs. These songs lift me up, give me hope and stability, and surround me with safety. These songs are now part of my back-up plan to lift me up when I’m in a de-stabilizing situation.
This reminds me of how Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-Step Addiction Recovery Groups focus on always having a back-up plan. So, when a recovering alcoholic is feeling tempted, their back-up plan includes having 10 people ready to call to help them.
It’s important that these 10 people give encouragement, hope, and a reason to stay on track.
Just like back-up plans give:
Support
Hopefulness
A way to stay safe
Moms Carry Back-Up Clothes
How many moms carry back-up clothes for their little ones in their diaper bag? The back-up clothes sure come in handy when your little one gets all messy and suddenly has to change.
Having a back-up plan is like having an extra set of clothes to wear when you spill coffee all over you. Back-up plans can help when you’re feeling unsure, surprised, or scared.
Unique Multisensory Safe Spaces
Check out these 12 ways to create safe spaces, each with specific examples and ideas. Then maybe you will be able to find ways to create your own personalized safe space.
In the list below, there are style attributes in parenthesis ( ) listed next to each safe space, These attributes describe different learning styles and unique qualities people prefer. Sometimes, people need a coping skill that matches their learning style or unique preference.
Multisensory approaches can meet people’s unique needs, offering specific coping skills for different situations.
Multisensory approaches:
Mind/thoughts
Body/kinesthetic
Spirit/spiritual/mindfulness
Heart/emotions
Auditory/music
Verbal/auditory
Sensory/touch
Nature/spiritual/kinesthetic
Other times, it can help to try something new, especially if you’re in a dry spiritual season of life. Life transitions bring new changes and a need for learning new coping skills.
Create 12 Multisensory Safe Spaces in Mind, Body, and Spirit
May these coping skills bring you peace, safety, and stability to move forward and grow on your journey of life.
1. Playlist of Songs: empowering(music/auditory, spiritual/mindfulness)
Start with 1 favorite song, add a 2nd inspiring song, add a 3rd comforting song
Sing out loud, helps gain mastery and empower confidence
Write the words out to your favorite 3 songs, these are your theme songs
So, why not come up with list of resources that create safety. Start with familiar resources that feel safe, empower hope, and encourage you. Then brainstorm ways that could be calming, kind and caring to yourself.
Real Life Application:
Considering the 12 Multisensory Safe Spaces:
Which is the most helpful?
What resources help you feel safe?
How does these resources help you feel calm?
What resources help create a comfortable space for you?
Which resources empower you and help you feel confident?
What fills you with hope and inner peace?
Which safe space are you the most likely to use?
Write these items down, you’ll be more likely to remember them and actually use them.
How was this information helpful?
I hope these 12 Multisensory Safe Space ideas are helpful for you, creating a sense of safety and peace right when you need it. If this information is helpful, please share it with a friend.
I’d love to hear from you and how these 12 safe spaces help you.
Join the Wellness Tribe
I’d love to hear about your journey towards wellness! What obstacles are in your way towards wellness? What helps you gain wellness?
I hope you join us on your journey of improving your wellness. This tribe is a gathering place to improve wellness & connections, receive life-giving coping skills, and restore health in mind, body, and spirit.
I love essential self-care activities that are simple, affordable, and enhance wellness. Especially self-compassion and spiritual wellness activities that can decrease anxiety, perfectionism, and judgment.
How can practicing self-care activities help you grow in compassion and spiritual wellness?
Let’s see how many affordable self care activities can be done in 15 minutes and relieve stress!
In this blog post:
This blog post shares essential self-care activities that are affordable, simple, and enhance wellness:
Compassionate Self-Care
4 Compassion Breaks
10 Compassion Affirmations
Spiritual Self-Care
10 Spiritual Wellness Activities
7 Contemplative Spiritual Practices
Disclaimer: This article has educational resources about restoring wellness through trauma recovery, and is based on my research and my experiences. This information is not meant to take the place of medical treatment, counseling or therapy. If it would be helpful to talk to someone, wellness resources has information on how to contact a mental health professional in your area.
Compassionate Self-Care
#1 Self-Care Essential Activity: Self-Compassion
The first essential self-care activity may seem easy to do, yet sometimes we don’t even know we’re missing it.
Who do you give love to?
I am really good at giving love to others. So it surprises me when I realize I am not giving love to myself.
Compassion and Self-compassion can be defined as giving love to others and giving love to yourself. The difference is who you are giving compassion to, whether it’s to others or to yourself.
Are you hard on yourself?
Can you relate? When you make a mistake, are you hard on yourself or loving to yourself?
Trauma Recovery & Low Self-compassion
Before I realized I needed self-compassion for inner healing, I didn’t even know I was being so hard of myself.
Let’s start at the beginning of when I learned about self-compassion being vital in my own trauma recovery journey.
Many people are hard on themselves; especially trauma survivors. When someone experiences a trauma, they may blame themselves for somehow causing or not stopping the traumatic event. So, from that point on, trauma survivors may have a hard time giving themselves compassion and giving others compassion.
Opposite of Compassion
So what happens if we are stop giving compassion to ourselves and others? The opposite of compassion is hatred, cruelty, indifference. Other similar terms could be judgment, criticism, and insignificance.
Judgment and criticism can be familiar daily battles. For me, It is especially difficult to admit and accept that I expect way too much from myself and that I cannot reach my own expectations.
I think I can always do better, always improve. But this expectation drives me into perfectionism.
For example, I have a hard time admitting anything negative. Especially when things are too difficult for me to handle (anxiety), or when I cannot reach my own expectations (perfectionism).
Anxiety and perfectionism just burden me with more judgment.
Self-compassion is a healing path
Self-compassion heals self-judgment.
Having self-compassion gives me permission to accept when I’m being judgmental and critical with myself. Then I am able to give myself compassion and love myself even when I make mistakes.
I can be aware and accept things that are less than positive while giving myself self-compassion.
It’s important to choose to see things positively, and this is where self-compassion continues to becomes a pivotal healing path for me. I can choose to love myself during difficult times, using self-compassion breaks.
10 Quality spiritual self-care & wellness activities in 10-15 minutes:
10-minute meditation
praying while driving (with eyes open 🙂
reading a sacred text
a walking prayer, where you walk and talk to God (quietly to yourself or out loud 🙂
sitting outside in nature for 15 minutes
laying down and resting
being still and listening
mindfulness practice (being present and aware, with acceptance and kindness)
coloring a mandala
prayer doodling
Spiritual practices, such as mindfulness can help you grow in self-awareness, stay in the present moment, and grow in emotional regulation and self-control.
Mindfulness can be simple or in-depth if you choose. So, you can practice mindfulness during the day and night to help relax and calm the body, mind, and spirit.
How does taking care of myself help me grow spiritually?
You may hear that to grower close to God, you need to give up something. Many people will sacrifice themselves for others, and stop focusing on themselves.
So, this focusing on self may sound counter-productive. It may feel like you’re going against the norm and could be an obstacle to grow closer to God.
Consider the possibility that enhancing your self-care could help you grow in compassion.
The practice of slowing down and practicing spiritual practices builds self regulation and compassion for self and others.
How does sharing compassion with others help me grow spiritually?
The more compassion you have for yourself, the more compassion you will have for God and others. Loving God, loving yourself, and loving others helps you growspiritually.
Practicing self care can help you grow in compassion and grow in your relationship with God.
I hope you join us on your journey of improving your wellness. This tribe is a gathering place to improve wellness & connections, receive life-giving coping skills, and restore health in mind, body, and spirit.
Stressed about the holidays? When anxiety is swirling you into chaos, these 7 steps can help you soothe anxiety at family gatherings.
Anxiety is like a wild animal
Anxiety can come like a wild animal taking you into a panic world so fast, where you need to survive and run to escape the danger. It may feel like:
thoughts racing in chaos
heart beating fast
chest getting tight and not loosening up
similar to a physical illness
eyes darting around looking for a way out
You don’t feel safe— that’s the summary of it!
When we feel things are out of control, our anxiety increases. We cannot control other people’s behaviors, what we can control is our own behavior.
Signs of Anxiety
When anxiety starts, it seems to come so quickly and out of nowhere. Especially, when you feel out of control, it may be one of the biggest triggers. There are ways to notice signs before anxiety strikes.
Anxiety panic attacks and heart attacks can feel similar. If you think you’re having a heart attack or aren’t sure, seek medical attention immediately.
Anxiety does not feel safe, you want to escape.
Perceived Danger
Whether the danger is real or perceived, it still feels like real danger. The body reacts with a fight/flight/freeze response. You feel scared and you want to just crawl up into a ball and cry.
So, how can you feel safe & soothe anxiety at family gatherings and group events?
Social Anxiety
Social anxiety can happen during any group gatherings, friends, family, and work gatherings. I’ve even had anxiety at church gatherings.
Sometimes a physical illness can bring on anxiety, which have been some of my worst anxiety episodes.
Stress & Anxiety @ Family Gatherings
At family gatherings, a person can feel overwhelmed even with the most caring families. Whatever stress baggage you’ve been carrying has now been carried into your family gathering.
This happens with me, especially when I’m carrying stress from the previous week or experience. All that stress is carried into my family gathering.
This stress creates more anxiety! The stress then snowballs and effects how I handle any gatherings with friends, family, and colleagues. I feel more stressed, more tense, and more overwhelmed all from the stress.
This all happens before I even get together with family and friends, or at work.
It can be very helpful to know how to manage and overcome the anxiety. Gatherings can include family reunions, holiday gatherings, parties, or just a gathering of friends.
Anxiety increases when things feel out of control.
7 Steps to Soothe Anxiety @ Family Gatherings
Here are 7 steps to soothe anxiety that have been very helpful to me when I’m feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and anxious.
1. Safe Place
Whether in your mind or in person, think of a safe place to go to when you need to escape the crowd.
Find a physical safe place in your environment. Where is a safe place you can retreat to and feel safe?
Outside under a tree?
In a bathroom?
In your car?
With a friend?
2. Mental Safe Place
Imagine a safe place where you feel more at peace, more calm, more joyful.
Think of a safe place that has happy memories, think of a safe place that you would like to visit one day.
Imagine yourself in this safe place:
smell the fresh air
see 5 things around you
hear 2 things around you
touch smooth surfaces
imagine safe people with you
3. Safe People
A safe person is someone you can trust, someone you feel safe around, someone who will help protect you.
Who are your safe people?
a good friend
mom or dad
spouse/partner
teacher/pastor
counselor
If they are not available around you in person, imagine one of these safe people near you.
Think of the comforting and supporting phrases they could tell you that would help you feel safe and comforted.
Imagine a Safe Person
If you can not think of a safe person that you know, imagine what you would like a safe person to be like. Maybe your safe person to have traits such as:
supportive
calming
kind
gentle
accepting
loving
4. Move to Feel Calmer
Moving your body can help calm down your nervous system, and reboot you nerves to remind them that they are safe.
Walk around intentionally grounding your feet, think to yourself as you make each step:
“I am here in this moment walking on this ground.”
5. Breathe Deeply
Breaking deeply helps calm the thoughts and emotions, even if it takes awhile to work.
Start with matching your breathing and intentionally slow it down every few breaths.
Breathe in through your nose, and slow the out breath more and more as you breathe out through your mouth.
6. Soothing Surroundings
Surround yourself with peace. Whatever brings you peace right now, intentionally choose peaceful and comforting things around you to help you feel safe.
a special prayer bead
a card from a friend
a soft warm blanket
a comforting pet
This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link.
7. Soothing Drink or Food
Drink water or tea, something to sooth your body and calm down your nerves.
Drink something calming, like Herbal teas:
passion tea
chamomile tea
mint tea
green tea
white berry tea
Eat something soothing that decreases anxiety:
eat a cracker, saltine crackers, graham crackers
mixed nuts, peanut butter, protein
blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, grapes
smoothie with fruit
Muffins made with various flours and fruit are some of my favorite.
Life Application:
What can help you gain a sense of control?
What will help you feel calmer and safer?
In the middle of anxiety swirling you into chaos, how do you soothe anxiety?
Soothing Anxiety
When anxiety is swirling you into chaos, these 7 steps can help soothe the anxiety animal. Even if the anxiety response seems to just show up out of nowhere, these steps can help ground you in the present moment and gain a sense of control.
I hope this journey of soothing anxiety helps you improves your wellness as it has helped me improve my wellness. I’d love to hear about your journey towards wellness and what helps you soothe your anxiety.
Disclaimer: This article has resources about restoring wellness, and is based on my research and my experiences. This information is not meant to take the place of counseling or therapy. If at any time you feel uncomfortable or need to talk to someone, wellness resources can help you find a counselor and other resources that may be helpful.
