Better Care for Self = Better Care for Others
Importance of Self Care for Moms
Moms Valued @ $75-$143k
Mom, You are valuable and worthy.
Let’s face it, moms are invaluable, we would not be here without them! But if we had to put a money value to all that moms do, how much would it cost to hire someone to do those tasks? Moms carry many roles, taking care of children, home, spouse, job, and self.
Looking just at the roles a mom balances for her children and home, it’s estimated that a mom’s salary would value between $75,000 to $143,000 if she were paid for all the tasks she does year round. Depending on how many roles a mom is balancing and how many overtime hours she is taking care of her children and the house management, moms spend 50-90 hours a week taking care of their children and their homes.
Consider how much money moms are saving their families by doing this important work themselves versus hiring out for services, like chauffeur ($93 a week) and social media marketing manager ($153 a week.) Now think about all the roles that would not get done if mom was sick or unable to take care of all the children and the house.
Roles & Value of a Mom
This is just a short list beginning to explain some of the roles that a mom take care of all day long.
o Executive Housekeeper
o Executive Chef
o Network Administrator
o Taxi Driver, Chauffeur
o Janitor, Sr.
o Laundry Manager
o Interior Designer
o Staff Nurse, RN
o Social Media Marketing Manager
o Academic Advisor
Many moms may feel overwhelmed and exhausted by the end of the day balancing so many roles.
How do you take care of your children if you are too exhausted and too drained to take care of yourself?
You can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
3 Self Care Priorities
Self-care can help you grow in strength, calmness, and increase your ability to bounce back, which means building your resiliency (ability to bounce back during/after difficult times).
The better you take care of yourself, the better you can take care of others.
Here are 3 Self Care Ideas to help you prioritize your self care.
1. You can only give what you have to give.
Find activities you enjoy and pour them back into your life, essentially recharging yourself and pouring energy and time back into your day. The more recharged you are, the better you will be able to think, act, and love.
How do you recharge? With people or alone?
Laura Choate is a professor at Louisiana State University who specializes in girls’ and women’s wellness and mental health. Choate explains how pouring back into our lives in self care activities can helps us recharge so that we do not run empty.
2. Gain energy and a full tank to enjoy the journey.
This is one of the main reasons moms need self care, so they don’t run out of energy and run empty. You want to take care of your children; therefore, you need to have energy and a full tank to enjoy the journey.
Be a model of self-care for your children, so that one day when they are exhausted and drained, they will know how to find their center again (Eric Layne).
Layne shares her journey with young children and how to practice self care as a way of life, from lighting candles, to houseplants, and holding a warm drink in your hands. One of my favorites that Layne mentions is creating a touch point in your home and touch it to remind yourself to live in the moment (ie. doorway, sink handle).
Give yourself permission to model self care as you live life with your children.
How will your children learn to take care of themselves if you are not showing them how to do it? Children learn from observing their parents, so if we moms take care of ourselves, our children are more likely to take care of themselves.
3. Surround yourself with a good support system.
Our connections and friendships can sustain us during difficult life transitions, and help us cope better. Sometimes, you may need to hear you are not alone on your battle field, or that you are doing your best as you are being patient among the toddler tantrums.
Connect with other moms, meet at local parks, share a cup of coffee while your kids play. The more we connect with other moms, the more we build resiliency and practice self care.
Talk to a trusted friend or counselor. Whether there is a significant life transition you’re going through or a daily struggle that is challenging, talking to a friend or a counselor can help relieve stress and increase your coping skills.
Bonnie Gibbs Vengrow writes about self care not being selfish, instead self care is essential for moms in Parents Magazine.
Value of Self Care
Hopefully one of the 3 Ideas of Self Care is a good match for you and can help you improve your self care.
Self-care looks different for each person, whether you’re an extrovert or introvert personality, a stay at home mom or a working outside the home mom.
- You are valuable and worthy. Remember how much money it would cost to replace all the roles you do, that can never replace who you are are and what you bring to your family, that’s worth more than any dollar amount.
- Take time for yourself just as you take time for your children. Pay attention to your mind, emotions, relationships, environment, resources, and time, to help you be your most effective and most authentic self.
- Practicing small amounts of self care throughout the day can help you handle stress when it comes at you all day long. Focus on the multisensory self care ideas (sights, smells, sounds, tastes, touch) around you to help focus on the present moment.
- You are worth caring for yourself.
- You can only give what you have to give.
- Gain energy and a full tank to enjoy the journey.
- Surround yourself with a good support system.
Moms are worth caring for themselves, so that they can better care for themselves and others while managing time and stress.
Improving Self Care
Healthy self care brings balance and wellness to your whole personhood: your mind, body, heart, and spirit.
Better Care for Self = Better Care for Others
How can you improve your self care?
Choose one of these ideas to improve your self care this week:
- How can you take care of yourself to help you be your most effective and most authentic self?
- How can you practice the smallest amount of self care throughout your day day? Consider one of the multisensory self care ideas around you to help focus on the present moment: sights, smells, sounds, tastes, touch.
- In what ways can you gain energy? Remember you don’t want to run out of energy for your kids (i.e. completely drained), so how can you be a model of self care to your children?
- Who is your good support system? If it would be helpful to create a good support system, think of 1-2 people you would like to get to know better.
I hope this journey of enhancing your self-care helps increase your energy and your wellness.
Mother’s Day Index: Mom’s value inches higher, but she’s not feeling it
The Truth About How Much a Mom is Worth
Disclaimer: This article has resources about restoring wellness, and is based on my research and my experiences. This information is not meant to take the place of counseling or therapy. If at any time you feel uncomfortable or need to talk to someone, wellness resources may be helpful.